Home At Last

On Monday morning, I went in for the 9am feeding at the NICU.  As I was feeding him, the Neonatologist came to visit me.  I found this a bit unusual - during the previous 10 days, the only times that he spoke to us was the day after Carder was born (to tell us his original assessment of Carder) and the second time was during the weekly Dr/Parent conference that our hospital holds for the NICU babies.

Actually, let me back up and say that over the last several days Carder's eating had been improving drastically.  He still had some feedings that he wasn't taking the whole 51ML that was required of him.  Up until Saturday, he still had his gravage tube in and the nurses used it as recently as Friday night to feed him at least a portion of his feeding.  On Saturday, the tube was removed.  Not by the nurses - but by Carder.  Derek and I had given him a bath and were working to get him redressed.  While we were working together, we both had our eyes off of him for 2 seconds and that little guy quickly grabbed his gravage tube and pulled it right out.  The nurses didn't reinsert it - they decided to wait to see if he would need it again.

Anyway, back to Monday morning.

Dr. S - "Good Morning."
Me - No time to respond before Dr. S launches into the next topic
Dr. S. - "I have been watching Carder for the last couple of days.  He has been doing really well and has been nippling every feeding.  If you want, you can take him home today."
Me - In shock because the nurse the previous night had mentioned reinserting his gravage tube when he didn't finish his whole bottle and I broke down in tears.  "Really?  So he is doing well enough to go home"
Dr. S - "I don't see any need for him to lie around here anymore, unless you just want him to..."
Me - "No, no.  I want to take my baby home.
Dr. S. - "OK, I will get things started on my end."

So, after a quick call to Derek, we determined that he could leave work that afternoon and we would bring our baby home from the hospital.  He stayed in the NICU for a total of 11 days and received some very wonderful care while he was there.  At the time he was discharged, he was up to 6 pounds 5 ounces and 19 1/2 inches long.

We got home around 5:30 that night, had a dinner prepared by my MIL, let the MIL and FIL hold him for a couple of minutes and prepared for our first feeding on our own.  We even had bath time at home, which went wonderfully.

The first night was a bit nerve wrecking.  When you are used to seeing him hooked up to monitors that verify he is breathing and that his heart is beating, it is difficult to go to sleep without the reassurance of the monitoring.  I think we were both petrified that something would happen to him in the middle of the night.  He is sleeping in our room in his pack and play bassinet (sans head rest because I began to freak out that he would suffocate himself on it).  That first night, I can't tell you the number of times that Derek sneaked out of the bed to check to see if he was still breathing and then gave him a tender kiss on his little head.  I never want to forget how seeing that warmed my heart.

I know I mentioned I would be posting more about breastfeeding later - and I will because I have so much I want to document about this journey - but I will tell you that THANKFULLY my milk has come in and I am able to supply my son with breast milk.  Due to the need of the NICU to track what he eats, I have been pretty much exclusively pumping.  We have attempted breast feeding a couple of times and have achieved a latch (and this, my friends, is a wonderful feeling).  But, due to the big push to track what he was eating, I am hesitant to attempt to switch to breast feeding in one fail swoop.  I have put him to breast a couple of times and have supplemented afterwards with pumped milk.  My production at this point is basically covering what he eats and that is it.  I am hoping to discuss a plan to switch to breast feeding with his pediatrician tomorrow.

Everything has been going pretty well - so far we have just had the typical middle of the night feedings sleep deprivation and a couple of non scheduled feedings.  Today we also had a period of wakefulness for almost 3 hours after the noontime feeding that made it hard for me to get lunch and pump.

I am tired, but I am so madly in love with this little guy.  I am hoping that in the next few days we will establish our own pattern and that I will have more time to post about the life of this little guy.  I want to document all of these first days so that I will never forget them.

I am reading everyone else's blogs on my iPhone, but haven't had much time to comment - know that my thoughts are with all of you...