3 Posts All Rolled Into One

The 2 Week Wait -
So far things haven't been too bad.  I have chilled out quite a bit.  I can't tell you how many movies I have watched.  My mind has been so busy with everything else going on that I haven't really had too much time to obsess over think about the fact that we are waiting.  Don't get me wrong, it isn't that I don't think about it a lot.  I guess I just have so many other things on my plate that I haven't really been as stressed about it. I guess that is a good thing.  The hardest times for me are at my job.  I really don't like my job very much and I am quite bored at it.  That means that I have time to dwell on it there.  I don't really have any symptoms to discuss.  The "girls" are really sore, but they have been since the estrogen injections started.  And I am very, very tired - but that is explainable by post #2.

10 Days of Due Diligence and Temporary Housing -
We are in the 10 Day Due Diligence Period now.  The buyers have time to get the house inspected and appraised.  During this period, they can back out for any reason.  So we aren't packing yet. 
Instead, we are trying to make arrangements for the actual act of moving and for housing after the move.  We will be staying at our current city for small amount of time.  Derek has a bonus coming his way that we will be sticking around to claim.  And if the possibility with his job works out, then our only wait at this location is while we house hunt at the new one.  If that doesn't work, we also need to be looking for employment in the new location.
We are looking at 2 options - either furnished or unfurnished monthly rentals.  The great thing about furnished is that you can just show up with your belongings and live - no need to pack and unpack and then pack again.  The bad thing is that they are limited in the # offered and also quite expensive.  We are hoping that we can figure something out with a furnished place.  We do have an unfurnished place lined up already.
But, since we aren't packing, I wake up in the wee hours of the morning and I am mentally making a list of what we would take to an unfurnished apartment - what items from my kitchen do I REALLY NEED and what would be more of a luxury that I should just pack up? 
And once I am awake and mentally packing, I can't clear my mind to go back to sleep.  Due to this, I am really exhausted.  I have got to get more sleep tonight.

Spreading the Word -
As I have been trying to rest and relax these last few days, my Mom has apparently been spreading the word of our Embryo Adoption to my family members.  Although I am very open about my situation with other people, I hadn't told our extended family members about our transfer for a couple of reasons. 
The first was that I wanted us to be able to share our news when we felt the time was right.  If this works, I want to announce our pregnancy like any other normal couple to our families - when we are ready to share the news - not to have them be calling to ask us if it worked and feeling pressured to share our news when we aren't ready yet.  And if it doesn't work, I really didn't want to spend my Thanksgiving Holidays rehashing the sad news with my extended family members.  I really would like to focus on what I do have to be thankful for - a possibility of a fresh start in our near future.
The second was that I didn't think that I was ready to share this information with one particular aunt.  With our first pregnancy, we shared our news quite early and then had disappointment haunt us.  I had an aunt who actually asked me "Were you really pregnant?" (to which I wanted to answer - "No, I was just starved for attention").  This same aunt does not have children.  As we were preparing for our first RE consult, I asked her if there was any history I needed to be aware of for this consult that might explain why we were having trouble conceiving.  She actually said "Perhaps you should consider the fact that maybe you were meant to raise dogs and not children".  Derek thinks I need to let this go, but I am not certain I am ready to just forgive and forget for this yet.
So you can imagine my surprise last night when this aunt called me to ask me all kinds of questions about what she referred to as my "Implant".  I suppose my Mom thought that it was appropriate to spread the word.  Thanks, Mom.

2 Babies on Board

Before the transfer, I listened to my Meditation Podcast about Thinking Positive.  By the time the transferarrived, I was feeling very relaxed and positive.  (This was a feat considering the stressful morning we had trying to get everything done pre-transfer and we didn't get it all accomplished, but I digress).

The embryologist gave us a picture of the babies to take home with us.  They really were a beautiful site.  One of them was fully re-hydrated and was hatching.  The other was still hydrating but looked great as well.   We were very pleased with how they survived the thaw.

The Dr. was caught in traffic getting from her typical office to the main office in Atlanta (which is where the transfers happen).  So, by the time the transfer happened, my bladder was a bit overfilled.  But, the transfer went smoothly and my bladder did not burst AND I didn't pee all over the doc, so SCORE!

We made our way home, stopped to pick up a pizza for dinner on the way, and have been chilling on the couch ever since.

One of my errands this morning was to get some movies to just veg on the couch with.  Our RE doesn't prescribe Bed Rest, but since this was our Hail Mary cycle, I thought it was a good idea to err on the side of caution.  So, I think I went a bit overboard, but we have plenty of movies to watch as we relax this weekend.  Now we just think happy thoughts and wait.

Thanks to all of you for your well-wishing posts and for your phone calls and text messages.  I love you all...

Sitting On Go

We are sitting in REs office, I am drinking my 20 oz of water, and our babies are thawed and waiting for us in the next room.

They just gave us a picture. What a beautiful site.

Cross your fingers and say some prayers.

Poker Face

I am not a good poker player.  Neither is my husband.  We can barely play 5 card draw.  But, apparently, we don't suck at it totally.

We told our agent yesterday that we were letting the contract go.  Today, she sent us a document to sign to officially terminate the contract.  I printed it out to take home so that we could sign it and drop it off at her office tomorrow on our way to the transfer.

Shortly after getting this document, our agent phoned to let Derek know that the buyers had changed their offer.  They increased the amount they were willing to pay and asked the real estate agents to kick in even more commission.

So, I guess you could say that we called their bluff and they folded.

So, we are back under contract.  Again.  Our closing date is currently set for the DAY BEFORE THANKSGIVING.

They will have 10 days to complete their inspection and the likes and we will need to start arranging for a place to live and a way to move.

I guess my 2 week wait just got more interesting.

Contract Goes Kaput

Well, here is the deal with the house.

We got the contingency taken care of.  We communicated this info to the potential buyers.  Even through they knew that getting the approval for this contingency was only the first hurdle (and that they had to pay for the rest), they asked for some time to think about it.  And then came back to us and asked us to reduce the price on the house again.  By a fairly drastic amount.

Why?

Well, because installing the damned contingent item was going to be more costly than they had estimated.  Doesn't that make TONS of sense to you?

Yeah, it didn't to us either.  How they decide to improve the property after they take possession isn't our problem.

We agreed to come down a little more, but not to drop to their requested price.  We also agreed to their shorter contract period (that would have us closing on THANKSGIVING) but requested possession to be 3 days after closing (because, after all, who can get a moving company to pack their asses up on THANKSGIVING??? And we will have to have some help because dammit I WILL BE PREGNANT by then.  Or so I hope)

In the end, they said that if we wouldn't agree to their drastically reduced price, they didn't want the house.  AND the wanted to keep possession at closing.  (Thank you for giving it to me up the you know what on the price, and while you are at it, how about giving it to me again on the move out date.  Way to be reasonable, potential future buyers...) 

So, we ran the numbers multiple times.  We were already going to be walking away with less cash in hand than we wanted at the contract price.  Dropping to their request?  Well, that would just be a stupid move for us financially.

I hate to see this contract fall through; because, after all:

(a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush)

But, it is probably for the best.  Our guess was that during the inspection period, they would probably request for something else to be paid for out of our pockets as well.  With all of these little details, it just didn't seem to be meant to be.  We walked away.

So, now we are back on the market and waiting again.  Since the first contract came shortly after the price drop, we are hoping that another offer won't be far behind.  I guess only time will tell.

I am thankful, however, that the stress of dealing with all of the contract negotiations has temporarily come to an end.  I think removing that stress is a good thing considering the upcoming transfer.

Just in case you forgot, it is a mere 41 hours from now.  I am getting excited!

To Our Donors, Thank You For This Gift

If I could write our donors a letter, I think I would.  But this is an anonymous embryo donation and I can never send them a letter to thank them.  Instead, I will send these words out into Cyberspace in the hopes that somehow, somewhere, they will understand.
Dear Donors,

My husband and I have been attempting to grow our family for 5 years now.  Almost 2 years ago, we were beginning our first IVF cycle and had to fill out all of the paperwork the clinic required. When it came to the question of what to do with any remaining embryos, we struggled with the decision. Suffering from infertility, we felt drawn to help others who couldn't conceive. But the thought of someone else raising our child seemed so foreign.  After all, if we had tried so hard for this family, would we really want to give any of our potential children away?  Fast forward a few weeks and we found out the answer to this question really didn't matter for us. We had a lot of embryos, but all of them had terrible fragmentation.  After a day 3 transfer of 3 and a devastating negative result.  In addition, we had nothing to freeze. We continued to try IVF to no avail.  As our dreams fell around us, I began to understand just how much of a gift that embryo donation is.

I am sure that when you made your decision to donate, you realized that this was an amazing gift that you were giving.  But I don't know if you have truly grasped just how much of a difference that you are making in the lives of others.

Instead of our story stopping with failed IVF cycles and a childless life, we now have another chapter in our book.  Thanks to YOUR kindness and generosity, we are attempting an FET with your donated embryos next week. I will forever be grateful of your decision to donate as it is allowing us the opportunity to attempt to give your biological children life and to fulfill our dreams of having a child. I am not eloquent enough to tell you just how much this gift to us means - how my heart swells with love every time I think of you and of our little embryos waiting to be nestled in my uterus next week. And I will continue to be grateful to you for this regardless of the outcome of this cycle - because without your decision to donate, this chapter couldn't even be written.

Thank you so much for choosing to donate and for making this opportunity possible for us.

More Waiting

Waiting on the Buyers -
The information has been communicated and now we wait for them to determine if they are still willing to move forward with buying our house.  We are supposed to have the information back from them by Monday.  I know this is what negotiations are all about, but I am so ready for something to be decided upon, one way or the other.  I feel as if this "drama" surrounding this offer/contract has been going on forever.  It has, in fact, not been that long.  But it just seems it.

Waiting on a Transfer-
The U/S today went great.  The doctor's description of my lining was "Perfect" and the nurse said that the thickness was better than last time.  So now, we continue to wait on Thursday for our transfer.  I am so excited!  I hope that since we will be transferring 2 healthy blastocycts, we will have a better outcome with this cycle than we had with our previous cycles.

Waiting on Hubby -
Derek is still at work.  I am waiting on him to leave work to start dinner.  Until then, I think I will just hang out and blog with you good people.

Click

That is the sound of another puzzle piece clicking into place.

The contingency item we were waiting on?  Well, we got our answer from the government.  They have answered the question that we needed to have answered.  Now we just need to communicate this information to the buyers.

As long as they are happy with the result, we move forward with the contract.  From that point, they would have a 10 day period to get the house inspected and appraised and the likes.  As long as that all goes well, we would be able to start packing up and making plans for what comes next.  And, that would mean that we would close on the house sometime around Thanksgiving.

Hopefully more pieces will start to fall into place in the next couple of weeks as well.

Oh, yeah - My mid-cycle ultrasound is tomorrow morning.  Hopefully all will be well at this scan.  If so, we are on for a transfer next Thursday!!!

Stick A Needle in My Thigh

I have mentioned before that Derek isn't a big fan of needles and opted not to give me my injections.  As long as the injections were SubQ, this wasn't a problem.  It is when they became IM injections (the HCG Trigger shots for Fresh Cycles) that I had to figure something else out.  But, for the fresh cycles, there was only 1 per cycle as my clinic prescribes the vaginal inserts instead of PIO shots. 

Then came our FET last October.  When I got my meds, I saw the numerous large needles - and I realized that I would need a plan B.  For that cycle, I got my OBGYN office to administer the IM injections for the first couple of weeks.  The last couple of injections I gave to myself.

So, for this FET, I wasn't too concerned about how the IM injections were going to go.  I took the first one like a champ.  The second one?  Not so good.  It was in the left *check* and I am right handed.  After sticking the needle in, I moved to push the plunger and the needle came back out.  So I had to stick myself again.  The second shot didn't go in as straight and I worried for 3 days that I hadn't actually gotten the needle far enough in to actually reach the muscle.

After that disastrous attempt, I have determined that there has to be an easier way.  My IVF Nurse said I can actually use my thigh for these injections.

Friday was my first one and - I have to say - it was SOOOO much easier than trying to be a contortionist to reach my own bum for a shot.  In addition to being easier to reach, it didn't seem to be as tender and painful afterwards.  Perhaps this was due to the 2 stick vs 1 stick approach???

No News Isn't Necessarily Good News

So, as you all know (and are waiting on pins and needles to find out the next exciting step in our house selling drama, I am sure), we are under contract with a pesky little contingency.

We had gone to meet with the division of the US Government that could satisfy this pesky little contingency for us about 2 weeks ago.  Even though we had been trying to set up the meeting for 3 months (FOR REALZ - we knew even before the offer that this would make us more marketable), we left that meeting without any answers.  We did, however, have a promise that the gentleman would provide us with some answers by "Friday Week".  That was today.

His answers?  Well, he sent an email saying that he didn't really have any answers.  What a freaking waste of 2 weeks.  Seriously?  How stupid does he think we are???*

So, no more Mr. Nice Couple.  We are taking this fight up the chain of command.  We already left a message for his supervisor tonight.  I am hoping that by Monday we will have some answers.  Just in case we don't get anywhere with that voicemail, I have spent the last couple of hours reading all sorts of legal jargon so that I could be sure I know what their management plan said (and didn't say) in regards to our property.  I think we are now thoroughly schooled and ready to kick some ass and take some names.

But hopefully, we can keep these little gems of knowledge in our back pockets and just talk civilly to government employee #2 and get some definitive answers.  And hopefully some that will settle this damned contingency so that we can MOVE ON with our lives.

Even though my life for the last year has been filled with weeks and weeks of waiting, my patience is running thin.  I am the kind of person who likes to have a plan.  It makes me feel so much more stable when I know what I will be doing 2 weeks from now OR where I will be living.  And right now, I don't know if I should look for a place for us to live and if I should start packing.  I don't know if we should plan on a long distance move as our first and only move or if I should plan on staying in this area a little longer.  I don't know if I should start applying for new jobs or just stick it out in the miserable one I have now. 

And I don't know if I will be pregnant this time next month or if we should have just thrown that 5K out the window.

UGH.  All I do know is that time miraculously seems to be creeping along and moving at the speed of light at the same time.

*  I don't like to dis government employees because I work for a local government. But sometimes you just have to.

Under Contract

So, after several days of negotiations, we are officially under contract on our house.  There is still a contingency that we are having to work through, and we are hoping that we will know what is going on with that by the end of this next week.  So, we continue to WAIT.

I can tell you that having a contract - even with the contingency - has taken a lot of stress off of our shoulders.  It is like there is an end in sight to a chapter of our lives that we would love to close.  The weight of the stress of this house has literally gotten about a thousand pounds lighter on our shoulders and we are standing a little taller now.

In addition to receiving the counter from the other couple on Friday, Derek also found out about a possible opportunity in his work life.  I won't say much about it right now, but there is a possibility, even if it is a slight one, that this opportunity would work marvelously with our master plan.  It would make this long distance move much more feasible.

So, on Friday night, we went to dinner at our favorite local restaurant.  We had a delightful meal and a couple of beverages.  And we talked about what comes next.  We discussed possibilities with our current jobs, what we wanted in our future jobs, how the logistics of the move would work in several scenarios.  We dreamed, we smiled.  Hell, we LAUGHED.  A LOT.  It was so nice to be able to spend that time together - without the pressures of feeling trapped by everything weighing down on us.

For so long, we have felt trapped by so much.  This House.  Our Jobs.  Our Infertility.  And all of this was adding up to make us 2 stressed out and miserable people.  I think we were both beginning to wonder if starting over somewhere else was only a pipe dream.  But now, it looks like things are starting to fall into place for us. 

The house is under contract.
Our EA cycle is underway.

Could it be that we will soon have the opportunity for everything we have been hoping and praying for for so long?  I don't know yet.  But I sure hope so.

An Offer

I know I haven't posted anything in a couple of days.  Things have been pretty busy around here.

I know I haven't really posted much about it lately, but here is the low down on our house.  We listed the house about 2 months ago.  The first month was a busy one - we had an open house, they showed the house multiple times and with each showing there was good feedback from the potential buyers, even with the basement renovation being underway.  The second month we finished the basement and, suddenly, no one was looking at the house at all. 

After a month of no action on the sale of the house and some pretty stressful times at work, we determined it was time to drop the price a bit.

Well, that was just last week.  The price change hit the market on Tuesday.  We had a showing on Thursday and another Open House for Tuesday of this week.

On Friday, we got an offer from the people who looked on Thursday.  There is a contingency to work through and we aren't in agreement on the price yet, but we have submitted our counter offer and now we are waiting to hear from the potential buyers.  They have until 6 on Friday to respond.

My nerves are frayed to say the least.  I think we have discussed this forward, backwards and sideways.

The current closing date on the house?  November 12 with buyer taking possession at closing - just a few days after my first Beta.  So, if this all goes through?  Yup.  I will need to be packing my entire house into a moving van when I am not supposed to lift over 20 pounds.

At least the 2 week wait I will have plenty to keep my mind off of it!

My Brain on Lupron

This is my Brain...

This is my Brain on Lupron...





Any Questions?