Well, I am officially back on the sauce and shooting up again...I took my first 10 unit dose of Lupron tonight. 1 down and too many to count to go...Derek and I also started our mandatory antibiotics today. As I typed that, I realized that I didn't give everyone an update on my timeline for the FET.
9/3 - Started Birth Control Pills (And don't you just LOVE breakthrough bleeding???)
9/30 - Start Lupron @ 10 units per day and my first round of antibiotics. Derek starts antibiotics, too.
10/4 - Last Birth Control Pill
10/9 - Baseline Ultrasound. Drop Lupron to 5 units per day, add in 1 baby asprin per day. Take IM (think hip shot) injection of Estrogen
10/12 - Another IM injection of Estrogen
10/16 - Bloodwork Draw. Possible additional IM injection of Estrogen
10/19 - Possible additional IM injection of Estrogen
10/22 - Ultrasound and possible last Lupron injection
10/23 - Begin SECOND round of antibiotics. Begin taking steriod (1 per day for 4 days). Also add Endometrin Vaginal Inserts 2 times per day.
10/28 - Blastocyst Transfer
10/30 - Increase Endometrin Vaginal Insert to 3 times per day.
11/6 - POAS, Beta, world stops turning because I am either PG or our last chance at a biological child has failed, followed by either some private celebration with Derek OR it might include me being in a drunken stupor.
And, there you have it. THE schedule.
I haven't really shared with many people IRL that we are moving forward with our FET or given them any information. Since this attempt will require much less time away from work, I am hoping that I can get away with not sharing a whole lot of details with anyone at work. My best friend knows and our parents know. Other than that, I don't think anyone else knows and I am not planning on telling them.
And, since my hubby is not a fan of shots, I have arranged for my IM injections to be administered at my OB's office. He said if there was anything they could do to let him know, so I called. I am not sure if there will be a charge for this, but I guess even if there is it is worth it. Especially considering the fact that having Derek passed out cold on the kitchen floor isn't included in THE schedule.
In Other News...
I called my PCP today about the lingering temperature. They want to see me tomorrow. I realized AFTER I agreed to the appointment that I failed to mention that I started antibiotics today. Oh well. Hopefully I can at least get a flu shot while I am there so the visit will not be a lost cause.
My day at work today was quite eventful. One of my staff members - a very dear elderly lady - had something funky going on with her lip yesterday afternoon. I did't point it out to her because I thought it was just a cold sore. When she arrived at work today, I got very concerned about her because not only were both of her lips swollen and not moving correctly, her eye was not blinking either. I was afraid that she had suffered a mini-stroke and we finally convinced her to go to the ER. After several hours in the ER, we found out that it was not a stroke - she is suffering from Bell's Palsy. The damage to the facial nerve may or may not repair itself and she may or may not have lost the ability to move 1 side of her face permanantly. The diagnosis was much better than that of a stroke, but still startling and disheartening nonetheless. Please keep her in your thoughts.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
What's Happening
The last couple of weeks, I haven't been feeling too well. I have been running a low grade fever most days (typically no higher than 99.1) and just feeling plain blah. I have been trying to push through it, but I am finding that after I work all day and then come home and work for a while at home, I don't really have too much energy left over for much else...I think I will call the Dr. tomorrow to see if there is something I should be doing...
I start my injectible meds for our FET tomorrow. Yeah for Lupron. I am hoping that this round I will avoid the headaches, but I am not banking on it. We also start the antibiotics tomorrow as well. But, at least things are moving forward. And that means that it won't be long until our transfer takes place.
I am not sure how I feel about the transfer. I am trying to be hopeful but at the same time, look where hope got me on our first two IVF attempts. I just don't know HOW to feel about it right now.
The diet has still been going pretty well. I am up to a total loss of 9.6 pounds. I wish it was coming off faster, but it is what it is. Derek stopped eating peanut butter and he lost 8 pounds in 2 weeks. Why is it that men can lose weight so much faster???
I guess that is all I feel like updating about right now. I am ready to go to bed. Do you think that 9:15 is too early???
I start my injectible meds for our FET tomorrow. Yeah for Lupron. I am hoping that this round I will avoid the headaches, but I am not banking on it. We also start the antibiotics tomorrow as well. But, at least things are moving forward. And that means that it won't be long until our transfer takes place.
I am not sure how I feel about the transfer. I am trying to be hopeful but at the same time, look where hope got me on our first two IVF attempts. I just don't know HOW to feel about it right now.
The diet has still been going pretty well. I am up to a total loss of 9.6 pounds. I wish it was coming off faster, but it is what it is. Derek stopped eating peanut butter and he lost 8 pounds in 2 weeks. Why is it that men can lose weight so much faster???
I guess that is all I feel like updating about right now. I am ready to go to bed. Do you think that 9:15 is too early???
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Catching Up
I know that anyone checking my blog after tonight will have quite a bit of reading to catch up on. I apologize for being so late on adding some of these and I know there is probably not much of an excuse.
The top 5 best excuses that I can offer are:
I will explain more on item 5 later as I am just too darned tired to blog anymore tonight... Happy reading!
The top 5 best excuses that I can offer are:
- I have been busy having fun and doing things to blog ABOUT
- I was waiting to take some pictures off the camera to type a couple of the posts (and as you read further to "Best Intentions" you will know how THAT went!)
- Eating healthy means spending a great deal of time in the kitchen
- Playing with my new iTouch took up a good bit of time
- Two words. Food Dehydration.
I will explain more on item 5 later as I am just too darned tired to blog anymore tonight... Happy reading!
Weight Loss Update
Although I have been working very hard at it, the weight has not come off as quickly as I would have liked for it to. I know that there have been a couple of events that we have done that has caused my point intake to be higher than it probably should have, but I have tried to watch the upcoming events and save up my flex points for the events where I know it will be difficult to stick to my 22 points per day.
Below is a chart showing my loss per week and overall progress.
Week 1 – Loss of 3.4, Total Loss of 3.4
Week 2 – Loss of 0.8, Total Loss of 4.2
Week 3 – Loss of 2, Total Loss of 6.2
Week 4 – Gain of .2, Total Loss of 6 *
Week 5 - SKIPPED **
*Weigh in was on date that AF arrived and gain was possibly attributed to monthly cycle
**Weigh in was skipped as it was the first day back from vacation. Although we cycled miles and miles, fried seafood and beer are NOT diet friendly items.
I am disappointed that I have not reached my goal of 10 pounds in 4 weeks. However, I am over halfway there, even with my gain on week 4. And, since we have 8 weeks until the transfer, I still have several weeks to achieve that last 4 pounds.
The next scheduled weigh in is on Tuesday. Hopefully my diligence during this last week will have removed any vacation gain.
Below is a chart showing my loss per week and overall progress.
Week 1 – Loss of 3.4, Total Loss of 3.4
Week 2 – Loss of 0.8, Total Loss of 4.2
Week 3 – Loss of 2, Total Loss of 6.2
Week 4 – Gain of .2, Total Loss of 6 *
Week 5 - SKIPPED **
*Weigh in was on date that AF arrived and gain was possibly attributed to monthly cycle
**Weigh in was skipped as it was the first day back from vacation. Although we cycled miles and miles, fried seafood and beer are NOT diet friendly items.
I am disappointed that I have not reached my goal of 10 pounds in 4 weeks. However, I am over halfway there, even with my gain on week 4. And, since we have 8 weeks until the transfer, I still have several weeks to achieve that last 4 pounds.
The next scheduled weigh in is on Tuesday. Hopefully my diligence during this last week will have removed any vacation gain.
Jekyll Island Mini-Vacation
Over Labor Day weekend, we took a little mini-vacation to Jekyll Island. It was a wonderful trip. We rented some bicycles and pedaled all over the island. We spent some time in the ocean, we spent time walking along the beach. We basically just spent time enjoying each other. It was such a relaxing trip! One of my favorite things was visiting the Sea Turtle Center.
We stayed in a not so nice hotel, but it was right on the beach. We took the boys with us (which is often stressful), but our room had a great big window that viewed the ocean and beach.
When we left, the boys behaved themselves quite well. We did catch Dakota sitting on TOP of the table looking out the window and also caught him sleeping inside Derek's suitcase - both of which were quite adorable. We took them for walks on the beach which they both enjoyed. Murfy was really funny on the beach - he apparently got hot and decided the best way to cool himself off was to throw himself down in a semi-bellyflop onto the wet sand and roll around. That little stinker was covered in sand but we were too busy laughing at him to be upset at the mess!
One of the patients at the Sea Turtle Center Infirmary
We stayed in a not so nice hotel, but it was right on the beach. We took the boys with us (which is often stressful), but our room had a great big window that viewed the ocean and beach.
The View from Our Room at Sunrise
When we left, the boys behaved themselves quite well. We did catch Dakota sitting on TOP of the table looking out the window and also caught him sleeping inside Derek's suitcase - both of which were quite adorable. We took them for walks on the beach which they both enjoyed. Murfy was really funny on the beach - he apparently got hot and decided the best way to cool himself off was to throw himself down in a semi-bellyflop onto the wet sand and roll around. That little stinker was covered in sand but we were too busy laughing at him to be upset at the mess!
Here is Dakota asleep in Derek's Suitcase
Sadly, it had to come to an end though, and we had to head back home.
The only upsetting IF moment on the whole trip was seeing a young PGer (probably 18 at the most) who was abou 8 mos along smoking a cigarette.
Winds of Change???
I have already posted about how my prayers have changed in the last weeks. On Sept 3, I felt as if one of my prayers was being answered.
A co-worker & friend of mine who suffered from IF told me of another co-worker who has a high school aged child who is expecting. Please note that this is NOT the same co-worker I posted about a couple of weeks ago. My place of employment has over 700 employees and this is a co-worker whose name I have heard but have never met. Anyway, this girl and her boyfriend are not ready for the responsibilities of parenthood – they are both intelligent kids that got caught in an unfortunate situation. She wants to give the baby up for adoption. As I was talking to my friend about this girl, I began to feel this stir of emotions. She said that she knew that we were coming to the end of our attempts at a biological child and she wanted to pass the information along **JUST** in case we were interested. I told her that I didn’t know if we were ready for that step yet and thanked her for thinking of us. But after I got off the phone with her, the stir of emotions kept swelling up. I found myself in the bathroom crying. Not because I was sad, but because I felt this strong pull towards the situation. And even more importantly, I felt a very strong wave of something that I had lost forever.
Hope.
For the first time in a long time, I felt certain that even if my womb was forever empty, that someday my arms and my heart would be full. It was so strange – I felt this surge of hope rush over me and I felt so calm – but at the time, I also felt scared shitless! I would say that it is probably the same feeling you get when you finally get a positive pregnancy test. And I realized the tears that I was crying were NOT because I was sad. For the first time in as long as I can remember, they were tears of happiness, hope and of feeling like I knew for certain that we would be parents.
Now, I am not saying that THIS child is the child that will fill my heart and my arms.
But I now feel as if I have some direction as to how I truly feel about adoption and I know it is a step that I am emotionally prepared to take. I have worried that I would feel like I missed out on carrying our child – but now I know that I wouldn’t feel that way at all. I would just be so happy to be holding our child, rocking he or she to sleep, making pancakes with it on Sunday mornings, kissing his or her boo boos when they fell down, teaching them to love nature, and giving them all the love we have to give. It wouldn’t matter that I didn’t conceive it or carry it; that child would be our son or our daughter.
And THAT is what I call some forward progress.
A co-worker & friend of mine who suffered from IF told me of another co-worker who has a high school aged child who is expecting. Please note that this is NOT the same co-worker I posted about a couple of weeks ago. My place of employment has over 700 employees and this is a co-worker whose name I have heard but have never met. Anyway, this girl and her boyfriend are not ready for the responsibilities of parenthood – they are both intelligent kids that got caught in an unfortunate situation. She wants to give the baby up for adoption. As I was talking to my friend about this girl, I began to feel this stir of emotions. She said that she knew that we were coming to the end of our attempts at a biological child and she wanted to pass the information along **JUST** in case we were interested. I told her that I didn’t know if we were ready for that step yet and thanked her for thinking of us. But after I got off the phone with her, the stir of emotions kept swelling up. I found myself in the bathroom crying. Not because I was sad, but because I felt this strong pull towards the situation. And even more importantly, I felt a very strong wave of something that I had lost forever.
Hope.
For the first time in a long time, I felt certain that even if my womb was forever empty, that someday my arms and my heart would be full. It was so strange – I felt this surge of hope rush over me and I felt so calm – but at the time, I also felt scared shitless! I would say that it is probably the same feeling you get when you finally get a positive pregnancy test. And I realized the tears that I was crying were NOT because I was sad. For the first time in as long as I can remember, they were tears of happiness, hope and of feeling like I knew for certain that we would be parents.
Now, I am not saying that THIS child is the child that will fill my heart and my arms.
But I now feel as if I have some direction as to how I truly feel about adoption and I know it is a step that I am emotionally prepared to take. I have worried that I would feel like I missed out on carrying our child – but now I know that I wouldn’t feel that way at all. I would just be so happy to be holding our child, rocking he or she to sleep, making pancakes with it on Sunday mornings, kissing his or her boo boos when they fell down, teaching them to love nature, and giving them all the love we have to give. It wouldn’t matter that I didn’t conceive it or carry it; that child would be our son or our daughter.
And THAT is what I call some forward progress.
FET Scheduled
So, AF has blessed me with her presence again. She arrived on September 1 - a tad bit early. My first thought was - GREAT! Let's get the ball rolling!
I called the clinic to schedule our FET. And, as it usually does for us, there is a glitch already. My cycle has fallen to put us right in between schedule times for FETs. So, I get to be on BC a little longer than originally planned. That will mean that instead of the FET cycle taking 6 weeks until transfer, it will be taking us about 8 weeks. So that is that. I got our official schedule from the clinic and found out that although I am not having a retrieval, Derek and I are both supposed to do antibiotics again. CRAP. And I get to be good friends with Lupron headaches again. Luckily, our IVF nurse (Joyce) was kind enough to say she would order me the weaker of the antibiotics (since the first type of antibiotics and my stomach did not get along). She also said that since the Lupron gave me headaches, my cycle would be the 10 days of Lupron vs. the 12 possible days. Basically, we are on a roll.
The FET is scheduled for October 28th. As long as everything goes well and our little frostie survives the big thaw, we should know on Friday November 6th if our last attempt at our own biological child has succeeded. Stay tuned!
I called the clinic to schedule our FET. And, as it usually does for us, there is a glitch already. My cycle has fallen to put us right in between schedule times for FETs. So, I get to be on BC a little longer than originally planned. That will mean that instead of the FET cycle taking 6 weeks until transfer, it will be taking us about 8 weeks. So that is that. I got our official schedule from the clinic and found out that although I am not having a retrieval, Derek and I are both supposed to do antibiotics again. CRAP. And I get to be good friends with Lupron headaches again. Luckily, our IVF nurse (Joyce) was kind enough to say she would order me the weaker of the antibiotics (since the first type of antibiotics and my stomach did not get along). She also said that since the Lupron gave me headaches, my cycle would be the 10 days of Lupron vs. the 12 possible days. Basically, we are on a roll.
The FET is scheduled for October 28th. As long as everything goes well and our little frostie survives the big thaw, we should know on Friday November 6th if our last attempt at our own biological child has succeeded. Stay tuned!
Jamie's Visit
Prior to August 20 of 2009, I could honestly say that I had never actually MET anyone from online in person. But I cannot say that anymore. My friend, Jamie (from my TTC for a long time group on Babycenter), came to visit me.
Before she came, I listened to horror stories from co-workers and friends about someone they knew who had met this person online and then agreed to meet them in person and she was pregnant and this person cut her baby out of her belly and killed the woman. I laughed to myself and thought 1)She and I have shared some really intimate thoughts with each other online and 2)I am not pregnant and neither is she and 3)If there was a pregnant 3rd party woman involved in the picture, we might be working together to acheive a common goal here...(Just kidding on that 3rd one!)
I admit, I was afraid of how it would go - I mean, typical friends evolve from you do something together, you grow closer. Not you know all of this really deep stuff about each other and THEN you meet...
But I had absolutely NOTHING to worry about. When we met each other, it was like hanging out with an old friend. We laughed, we cried, we talked, we drank wine, we stayed up late and watched TV - it was such a wonderful visit. And it was so nice to finally be able to give each other a big supportive hug IRL instead of just typing ((HUGS))!
Before she came, I listened to horror stories from co-workers and friends about someone they knew who had met this person online and then agreed to meet them in person and she was pregnant and this person cut her baby out of her belly and killed the woman. I laughed to myself and thought 1)She and I have shared some really intimate thoughts with each other online and 2)I am not pregnant and neither is she and 3)If there was a pregnant 3rd party woman involved in the picture, we might be working together to acheive a common goal here...(Just kidding on that 3rd one!)
I admit, I was afraid of how it would go - I mean, typical friends evolve from you do something together, you grow closer. Not you know all of this really deep stuff about each other and THEN you meet...
But I had absolutely NOTHING to worry about. When we met each other, it was like hanging out with an old friend. We laughed, we cried, we talked, we drank wine, we stayed up late and watched TV - it was such a wonderful visit. And it was so nice to finally be able to give each other a big supportive hug IRL instead of just typing ((HUGS))!
I am so glad that she came to visit and I can't wait for future visits!
Jamie and I at a Winemaker's Dinner
The Best Intentions
I know I promised to post pictures of our finished landscaping, but it ain't going to happen. Crappy blogger. Every time I try to upload pictures lately, it says it is uploading but it apparently times out. Now, I could understand this if I was loading 5 or 6 at once. But I thought that was taxing it too much, so I simply tried to load one. Several times.
I would click upload, walk away and do the dishes (check on upload, still in progress); walk away and go start a load of laundry (check on upload, still in progress); walk away fold laundry (check on upload, still in progress); walk away and put up laundry (check progress - unable to upload images message); long string of explietives flies through my mind. WHAT THE FREAK???
Attempt to upload image again. Repeat steps above but with varying activites.
Attempt to upload a different image. Repeat steps above but with varying activities.
Finally give up and say that it just isn't in the cards for the internet to accept and share my images today. But I tried. Really I did...
If anyone knows how to FIX my problem, I would gladly take your help!!!
I would click upload, walk away and do the dishes (check on upload, still in progress); walk away and go start a load of laundry (check on upload, still in progress); walk away fold laundry (check on upload, still in progress); walk away and put up laundry (check progress - unable to upload images message); long string of explietives flies through my mind. WHAT THE FREAK???
Attempt to upload image again. Repeat steps above but with varying activites.
Attempt to upload a different image. Repeat steps above but with varying activities.
Finally give up and say that it just isn't in the cards for the internet to accept and share my images today. But I tried. Really I did...
If anyone knows how to FIX my problem, I would gladly take your help!!!
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