This post was supposed to be about the lovely visit that I had with my Grandma this weekend.
This post was supposed to be about the progress we have made on our master bath renovation.
This post was supposed to be about me accepting the blog award from Melissa (Thank you and I promise I will accept the award officially and follow the rules soon).
Hell, it was supposed to be about the shower basin that was supposed to be delivered tonight at 5 and here it is almost 3 hours later and the delivery man hasn't even made it to our house yet...
But it isn't.
This post is about another co-worker who told me this morning that she is expecting a baby. And not just any co-worker. One of the girls that I supervise. I will get to watch her grow every single day of the week and wish it was me.
Oh, and did I mention that she just got married on December 26th???
She had some testing done right before the wedding because there was no prevention going on during the 2 year courtship and no accidents had occurred. She was told by her OBGYN that she had a tilted uterus and would need IUI to get PG. This morning, she told me that she had visited a natural healing person (the spanish equivalent of a witch doctor?) and that it had worked. She offered to take me to the place since it worked for her. It was a really sweet thought, I know. And, in the end, I may go to said witch doctor. (Because if I can give myself shots every day and be put to sleep for egg retrieval, why would I be against drinking a little stinky tea and doing some things designed to cleanse my body, right???)
But right now, I am struggling with the here and now. The last time this happened to me was right after I lost the only baby I have ever officially been pregnant with and I really struggled with it. Watching her baby grow reminded me every day that MY baby would have been a few weeks older.
I don't know if this one will be quite as hard (and I sure hope not) because I know this girl will be a wonderful mommy. And I really am happy for her. Ok, maybe 99%. No, probably more like 86%. Well, I can't lie to you all, it is probably more like 75% happy.
Seriously, though, I gave her a big hug and I will do my best to not begrudge her because she has what I can't have.
And I promise I will post more about happy things later. Like how beautiful our tile will be.
Monday, February 22, 2010
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
And the State is...
I guess I didn't realize I had left you all hanging in regards to our though process in my last post until I read all of your comments. So sorry about that.
I do have to say that I am TOTALLY touched that my IF friends submitted suggestions based on where they live. It is nice to be loved. :o)
Our requirements were that the location would preferably usable water (a beach, maybe), a quaint downtown area - we would like to buy a house downtown and be able to walk/ride our bikes to activites, plenty of things to do in the community, and a lot of outdoor activities.
Some of our top contestants were:
Sonoma County (probably Santa Rosa), California
Asheville, North Carolina
Charelston, South Carolina
A city along the Western Edge of Michigan
Maui Hawaii (a pipe dream really)
And the winner is....
MICHIGAN (Katie guessed it!!!)
We have thought long and hard about this and Michigan won for many reasons.
The first is Lake Michigan with their sandy beaches and the many natural lakes in the state. Many of the small lakes have bike paths around them. There are dunes to be hiked. The small towns have tons of festivals and activities. There is a nice wine region. And they have snow. Lots of snow.
Now, I can admit that I am a bit freaked out about "living" in the snow instead of just visiting it, but the idea of being able to do something fun outside during the winter (ski, snowmobile, sled, etc) seems like a nice change of pace. I would much rather have 20 and snow than 39 and rain (which is a normal Georgia winter).
In addition to all of that, Derek's family lives in Michigan. We have lived near my family for 6 years now and it would be nice to live closer to his family for a while. We have picked out a city as our possible new home, but nothing is concrete at the moment.
I can't say I don't have my moments in which I panic about the big change. I can say, though, that I am actually sincerely looking forward to it. I think that starting over somewhere new will be a great adventure as a couple.
I do have to say that I am TOTALLY touched that my IF friends submitted suggestions based on where they live. It is nice to be loved. :o)
Our requirements were that the location would preferably usable water (a beach, maybe), a quaint downtown area - we would like to buy a house downtown and be able to walk/ride our bikes to activites, plenty of things to do in the community, and a lot of outdoor activities.
Some of our top contestants were:
Sonoma County (probably Santa Rosa), California
Asheville, North Carolina
Charelston, South Carolina
A city along the Western Edge of Michigan
Maui Hawaii (a pipe dream really)
And the winner is....
MICHIGAN (Katie guessed it!!!)
We have thought long and hard about this and Michigan won for many reasons.
The first is Lake Michigan with their sandy beaches and the many natural lakes in the state. Many of the small lakes have bike paths around them. There are dunes to be hiked. The small towns have tons of festivals and activities. There is a nice wine region. And they have snow. Lots of snow.
Now, I can admit that I am a bit freaked out about "living" in the snow instead of just visiting it, but the idea of being able to do something fun outside during the winter (ski, snowmobile, sled, etc) seems like a nice change of pace. I would much rather have 20 and snow than 39 and rain (which is a normal Georgia winter).
In addition to all of that, Derek's family lives in Michigan. We have lived near my family for 6 years now and it would be nice to live closer to his family for a while. We have picked out a city as our possible new home, but nothing is concrete at the moment.
I can't say I don't have my moments in which I panic about the big change. I can say, though, that I am actually sincerely looking forward to it. I think that starting over somewhere new will be a great adventure as a couple.
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Our Progress (or Lack Thereof) Towards Adoption
You, my faithful readers, may have noticed that in the last few weeks, this blog has included no posts related to our progress on adoption. That is because there has been None. Zip. Zero. Zilch. Nada. And I feel that I owe you all an explanation.
I have not blogged about this - I don't know why I have been so hesitant. Perhaps because I am afraid someone at the job that I hate will stumble across my blog and they will learn of my plan? Perhaps because I am afraid that my mother (who I gave the address of my blog to but I don't think she has ever pulled it up to read it - but that probably deserves a post all of it's own - but I digress) will read this post and freak out. Perhaps it is because I just don't know how to say it.
For the past year or so, Derek and I have been feeling trapped. Trapped by the jobs we hate. Trapped by the house that was meant to be an "investment". Trapped by the town in which we live. Trapped by our infertility. Trapped. Trapped. Trapped. We have discussed, at length, how we would love to pack up and move somewhere else. Somewhere new. Somewhere that offers the lifestyle that we want to live and where we could just start over. I know, moving somewhere new won't change my fertility status and it won't make a baby magically appear. But at least it will give us a fresh start. By selling this house and moving away from here, we have the opportunity that perhaps Derek can take a much less stressful job and that, as a couple, we can be better parents to our future children that we can't produce on our own.
Well, here lies the conundrum. The adoption process can take a long time. For some people, it can take a couple of years. When you are dreaming of moving somewhere else, you have to ask yourself "Do I really want to get started in this process that can take years and tie us to this place we dislike for even longer?" We have been trying to figure out how we could start the process here and finish it in a different state and that was our plan.
But then, the misery with certain parts of our lives here grew larger and some incertainty about Derek's job came into the picture. I began to worry about the extra stress on Derek to try to stick it out here and start the process. I started to worry about what moving mid-stream would do to the time line. Did I really want to go through all of the work to get started in Georgia just to have to repeat all of the work in the new state? And what if we were matched with a BM who got freaked out by our move in the middle? All of the what if's started to worry me. BIG TIME.
So I sat DH down and we discussed an "exit strategy". I told him that if we were serious about making this change, that I thought we should start planning for it now and move towards reaching that - set ourselves some goals and a timeline. And we agreed to put the adoption on hold for a couple of months. I am still looking at agencies and if we happened to find a BM that we could adopt independently from, we would still go for it if the situation was right. But I am not tying us to this place any longer.
We were wanting to finish up a couple of items in the house so that we can maximize our profit when we sell this place. So we are now one room away from having the main level of the house finished. We thought we might make some touch ups to the garage. We are going to replace the flooring in the basement and give it a paint job. And then we are going to list the house and hope for a quick sale.
We also wanted to stick it out until a set date in the future because it was more beneficial with Derek's job to reach that date. That date is quickly approaching.
Our thoughts are that if the house sales, we will have some cash to fall back on and we can move to our new location and find a place to rent. We can find ourselves some jobs and look for a house to buy. And once we get settled, we can sign up with the agency of choice.
So there you have it. The truth about why we haven't really made any progress...Recently, I have been thinking (more times that I care to admit) that living our lives would be so much easier if we didn't have to plan it around how to procure a child. Why can't we just have a baby the old fashioned way???
I have not blogged about this - I don't know why I have been so hesitant. Perhaps because I am afraid someone at the job that I hate will stumble across my blog and they will learn of my plan? Perhaps because I am afraid that my mother (who I gave the address of my blog to but I don't think she has ever pulled it up to read it - but that probably deserves a post all of it's own - but I digress) will read this post and freak out. Perhaps it is because I just don't know how to say it.
For the past year or so, Derek and I have been feeling trapped. Trapped by the jobs we hate. Trapped by the house that was meant to be an "investment". Trapped by the town in which we live. Trapped by our infertility. Trapped. Trapped. Trapped. We have discussed, at length, how we would love to pack up and move somewhere else. Somewhere new. Somewhere that offers the lifestyle that we want to live and where we could just start over. I know, moving somewhere new won't change my fertility status and it won't make a baby magically appear. But at least it will give us a fresh start. By selling this house and moving away from here, we have the opportunity that perhaps Derek can take a much less stressful job and that, as a couple, we can be better parents to our future children that we can't produce on our own.
Well, here lies the conundrum. The adoption process can take a long time. For some people, it can take a couple of years. When you are dreaming of moving somewhere else, you have to ask yourself "Do I really want to get started in this process that can take years and tie us to this place we dislike for even longer?" We have been trying to figure out how we could start the process here and finish it in a different state and that was our plan.
But then, the misery with certain parts of our lives here grew larger and some incertainty about Derek's job came into the picture. I began to worry about the extra stress on Derek to try to stick it out here and start the process. I started to worry about what moving mid-stream would do to the time line. Did I really want to go through all of the work to get started in Georgia just to have to repeat all of the work in the new state? And what if we were matched with a BM who got freaked out by our move in the middle? All of the what if's started to worry me. BIG TIME.
So I sat DH down and we discussed an "exit strategy". I told him that if we were serious about making this change, that I thought we should start planning for it now and move towards reaching that - set ourselves some goals and a timeline. And we agreed to put the adoption on hold for a couple of months. I am still looking at agencies and if we happened to find a BM that we could adopt independently from, we would still go for it if the situation was right. But I am not tying us to this place any longer.
We were wanting to finish up a couple of items in the house so that we can maximize our profit when we sell this place. So we are now one room away from having the main level of the house finished. We thought we might make some touch ups to the garage. We are going to replace the flooring in the basement and give it a paint job. And then we are going to list the house and hope for a quick sale.
We also wanted to stick it out until a set date in the future because it was more beneficial with Derek's job to reach that date. That date is quickly approaching.
Our thoughts are that if the house sales, we will have some cash to fall back on and we can move to our new location and find a place to rent. We can find ourselves some jobs and look for a house to buy. And once we get settled, we can sign up with the agency of choice.
So there you have it. The truth about why we haven't really made any progress...Recently, I have been thinking (more times that I care to admit) that living our lives would be so much easier if we didn't have to plan it around how to procure a child. Why can't we just have a baby the old fashioned way???
Monday, February 1, 2010
Paging Nurse Carli...
So, this weekend, our house was filled with sickness. If discussing the bodily issues offends or disgusts you, please read no further.
Back in 2008, Murfy (our youngest furbaby) got an abcessed anal gland. The poor little guy's rump swelled up because the gland was filled with puss and blood. Several days later, the abcess ruptured and it took several days to heal up. The vet had mentioned during this ailment that abcessed anal glands were not very common. Fast forward about 16 months. Well, apparently, after an initial abcess, scar tissue forms in the gland and repeat abcesses are common. He began exhibiting the first symptoms of an abcess on Thursday evening. The vet confirmed on Saturday morning that he was suffering from another abcess. They sedated him and tried to drain it (to no avail). They sent us home with antibiotics. The area kept swelling and got quite painful. Last night, as I was holding a hot compress on it, it came to a head and ruptured - all over my hand. Grossness. I had to go today to get him some additional pain meds. He still isn't 100% back to normal, but he is getting a little better. He still isn't eating (we are having to feed him baby food) and he was not sleeping. He kept us up until about 4 this morning licking the area. At least he seems to be resting comfortably right now.
My other patient this weekend has been my husband. Saturday, he started saying he wasn't feeling so well. By Saturday night, he was running a fever of almost 103 and had a really bad cough. I made a call to the on call service and they called him in some Tam.iflu just in case it was the flu. He is still running a fever today and coughing up some ugly brown plegm. So, off to the doctor we went. Apparently it is probably not the flu. It is some nasty upper-respiratory virus that is going around. And it has settled in his chest and he now has bronchitus.
So, with over half of my boys sick, I have been quite busy this weekend. It seemed as if every time I turned around, it was time for someone to take medicine or someone needed water or someone needed some attention or someone got some gross substance on something and it needed washed (seriously, I think I washed the same blanket 3 times this weekend). And between the middle of the night coughing and butt licking, I haven't gotten much sleep.
I didn't make it to work today because I knew that I was still needed around here. And now, I am afraid I will not be making it in tomorrow. Not because I will be needed by my patients, but because I might be a patient as well. My legs have started aching and I am feeling feverish, I have had a headache and an itchy throat. My temp hasn't spiked yet, so nothing is definite yet, but I guess time will tell. If you don't hear from me for a few days, you all know why.
Thankfully, my MIL is a wonderful and kind woman. She and my FIL are in GA for 3 months to escape the snow of the north. She knows that Derek and Murfy are both sick. Yesterday, they delivered some popsickles. Today, she made lasagna and a salad and delivered it to our house so that I only had to stick it in the oven. THANK YOU NANCY!!!
There was another event this weekend that I would like to post about, but I don't have the energy to do it right now. I will fill you all in on that when I get the chance.
Back in 2008, Murfy (our youngest furbaby) got an abcessed anal gland. The poor little guy's rump swelled up because the gland was filled with puss and blood. Several days later, the abcess ruptured and it took several days to heal up. The vet had mentioned during this ailment that abcessed anal glands were not very common. Fast forward about 16 months. Well, apparently, after an initial abcess, scar tissue forms in the gland and repeat abcesses are common. He began exhibiting the first symptoms of an abcess on Thursday evening. The vet confirmed on Saturday morning that he was suffering from another abcess. They sedated him and tried to drain it (to no avail). They sent us home with antibiotics. The area kept swelling and got quite painful. Last night, as I was holding a hot compress on it, it came to a head and ruptured - all over my hand. Grossness. I had to go today to get him some additional pain meds. He still isn't 100% back to normal, but he is getting a little better. He still isn't eating (we are having to feed him baby food) and he was not sleeping. He kept us up until about 4 this morning licking the area. At least he seems to be resting comfortably right now.
My other patient this weekend has been my husband. Saturday, he started saying he wasn't feeling so well. By Saturday night, he was running a fever of almost 103 and had a really bad cough. I made a call to the on call service and they called him in some Tam.iflu just in case it was the flu. He is still running a fever today and coughing up some ugly brown plegm. So, off to the doctor we went. Apparently it is probably not the flu. It is some nasty upper-respiratory virus that is going around. And it has settled in his chest and he now has bronchitus.
So, with over half of my boys sick, I have been quite busy this weekend. It seemed as if every time I turned around, it was time for someone to take medicine or someone needed water or someone needed some attention or someone got some gross substance on something and it needed washed (seriously, I think I washed the same blanket 3 times this weekend). And between the middle of the night coughing and butt licking, I haven't gotten much sleep.
I didn't make it to work today because I knew that I was still needed around here. And now, I am afraid I will not be making it in tomorrow. Not because I will be needed by my patients, but because I might be a patient as well. My legs have started aching and I am feeling feverish, I have had a headache and an itchy throat. My temp hasn't spiked yet, so nothing is definite yet, but I guess time will tell. If you don't hear from me for a few days, you all know why.
Thankfully, my MIL is a wonderful and kind woman. She and my FIL are in GA for 3 months to escape the snow of the north. She knows that Derek and Murfy are both sick. Yesterday, they delivered some popsickles. Today, she made lasagna and a salad and delivered it to our house so that I only had to stick it in the oven. THANK YOU NANCY!!!
There was another event this weekend that I would like to post about, but I don't have the energy to do it right now. I will fill you all in on that when I get the chance.
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