Cancer and You - Volume Two (and other random thoughts)

So today was my annual appointment with my OBGYN.

Sidebar - Why didn't someone remind me just how much I despise the OBGYN's office????  I had forgotten just how terrible it was to be the only non-pregnant woman in the waiting room (unless you count the woman who was way past childbearing age who was there with her preggers daughter).  I mean, seriously?  Couldn't they segregate the place - you know, have a pregnant waiting room and a non-pregnant waiting room?  The pregnant waiting room can be filled with magazines regarding babies and pregnancy and the likes.  The non-pregnant waiting room will have People and Entertainment Weekly.  Ahhh, bliss.

So, as I am sitting in my lovely paper gown that opens in the front with the oh-so-fashionable paper drape over my lap in the exam room that must be as cold as the Arctic Circle, doc enters room and wants to converse with me before my exam.  Now I don't know about you all, but I have a problem conversing with my doc I see once a year when I am not hiding behind layers of actual fabric.  He asked how things were going, I giggled nervously and told him we were officially infertile.  (No shit, Sherlock.  Don't you think he already knew this LAST year when you saw him after the 2 failed fresh cycles?  Did you really think he thought you stuck yourself with all those needles just for shiggles?)  Then I filled him in on our Adoption plans that were now superseded by the Donor Embryo cycle in October.

He added the additional STD cultures to my PAP with no arguments.  He suggested adding the HPV virus testing to the PAP as well (sure, what is another test at this point???) and sold me on the benefits of knowing your risk for cancer is much lower and not having to have a PAP but every 3 years if you are negative for HPV.  (Really?  3 years before I have to put my feet in stirrups again if this FET doesn't work?  And you think you need to SELL me on this?  Where do I sign???)

Sidebar #2 (or 5 if you count the other random thoughts in italics already in this post) - Maybe the non-segregated waiting rooms were actually part of his plan to convince me to have the HPV test added to my cultures)

Anywho...

So, I followed up the HPV cancer conversation with my burning questions regarding ovarian cancer.

Basically, he indicated that my risk is indeed greater due to all of the risk factors I had read about on google. (Delightful.)  He explained that hyper stimulating your ovaries is probably what causes the majority of this increased risk - not necessarily the meds themselves.

The good news was that he didn't think the risk was great enough to schedule me for surgery to remove my ovaries (Ahem, they really aren't doing me any good, doc.  Remember at the beginning of this appointment when I told you I am officially infertile???  Well, it isn't because of my hubby's swimmers...If you were asking me for my uterus, we might have a problem.  But Dr. C is prescribing replacement hormones for anything those bitches would be providing, so if you want to rip them out, by all means...No wait, you are right.  No need to get all jumpy there.  After all, everyone gets pregnant after they adopt or give up, so perhaps I should hold on to them for a little longer.) 

His suggestion?  Birth Control.  (Perhaps I stuttered earlier.  I know I was having a hard time speaking clearly since I was naked.  Or perhaps you didn't hear that part of the conversation because you could see through my stylish paper suit and my rockin' hot body was distracting you.  Regardless, I really want kids...Birth Control will really F*#K with that "OOPS" baby after we just relax.)  He indicated that being on birth control early in life may have offset some of the risk I have taken on by all of our efforts to expand our family.  He also suggested that perhaps I should spend about 5 years in my 40s on BC to lower my risk some more.  (Glad I didn't have to explain to you the fact that I wasn't ready to hang up my hat on my child bearing years just quite yet.)

So, all in all AND in all seriousness, it wasn't all bad news.  I am glad I asked about the increased risk and I will definitely plan on adding some sort of BC to my life after we finally become parents.  (Maybe even the kind that keeps Aunt Flow from visiting.  I think that bitch and I have spent plenty of time together.)