200 and An Homage

This is my 200th post!!! 

For this post, I want to take the time to pay homage to the current title of my blog.  For the last few months, I have been thinking about renaming my blog.  When I first started this blog, it was about our struggles to grow our family.  It was a place where I could come to write out my thoughts about just how damn hard this journey was for us.  It was a place where I could list out the details of our upcoming treatments and a place I could go to let it all out when those treatments didn't work.

When I named my blog, I didn't want to give it a name that represented all of the heartache I felt on a daily basis.  Instead, I looked to where I often find inspiration - to a place that never judges you for how you feel and where you can always find something to fit your mood.  I looked to music.

I first heard this song while watching an episode of One Tree Hill.  The artist, Kate Voegele, is often featured on One Tree Hill as the recurring character of Mia (who is also a singer/songwriter on the show).  Anyway, after the first time I heard this song, I knew that I had to have it on my iPod.

The lyrics of this song spoke to me right where I was in my journey.  There were the days that I felt beaten down and was afraid I couldn't take one more step down the path of infertility.  When I had tears streaming down my face, I would put this song on repeat and listen to it as many times as it took for the tears to stop and for the feeling of hopelessness to go away.  There were also the days when we were mid treatment and I was afraid that the treatment wouldn't work.  With shaking hands, I would push the play button and sing along until I felt like things were going to be okay.  And on the days that I felt that my dream of becoming a mother was slipping away from me, I would blast this song and sing at the top of my lungs until I felt a glimmer of that hope return.

Another thing this title did for me - probably inadvertently - was to sensor what I typed here.  When I logged on to blogger to type a post, the first thing I saw was this title staring back at me.  And no matter what page I navigated to, it was still right there at the top to remind me of my inspiration.  Without even realizing it, a post that was going to be really down in the dumps took on a less dramatic format.  I found that even as I typed, the name of the blog helped to lift my mood.

I think I have picked out the new name for my blog.  And in the coming days or weeks (or, who am I kidding - it might be months...), you will see the name change happen.  But before I changed the title, I wanted to give you all an opportunity to know exactly what this song and title has done for me.

So, without further ado, a link to the music and the words to the song that has meant so much to me in these last few years.  I hope that you enjoy.  And, perhaps it will also give you the inspiration that it has given to me.

It's Only Life

Kate Voegele

Tears are forming in your eyes

A storm is warning in the sky

The end of the world, it seems

You bend down and you fall on your knees

Well get back on your feet, yeah

Don't look away

Don't run away

Hey baby it's only life

Don't lose your faith, Don't run away

Hey baby its only life

Yea it's only life

You were always playing hard
Never could let down your guard

But you can't win

If you never give in

To that voice within

Saying pick up your chin

Baby let go of it

[Chorus]

Take your hesitance

And your self-defense

Leave them behind, it's only life

Don't be so afraid

Of facing everyday

Just take your time, it's only life

I'll be your stepping-stone

No, don't be so alone

Just hold on tight, it's only life

[Chorus]