And Then You Were Three

Dear Carder,

Time has been flying by so quickly since you joined our lives.  It really seems like just yesterday that I awoke in the middle of the night when my water broke - but it really was 3 years ago.  I cannot believe how quickly you have been growing or how full you make my life.

So much about your personality has emerged in this last year.  You have a wonderful sense of humor and you love to laugh.  Whether it is because your toy falls off of an object over and over again or whether it is because you have made yet another poop joke, your laughter is like music and it makes me smile.

You still give the best hugs, hands down.  You wrap your arms around our necks and squeeze and make the best "Umm-umm" sound while you do it.  And you can squeeze quite hard.  :)  You still love to snuggle up to us pretty much any chance you get and I hope it stays that way for a while.

You have made some new friends in Wisconsin and your ability to share and take turns is growing each day.  You still have to be reminded sometimes, but I think that considering you are an only child starting over in a new place, you do quite well.

It seems like overnight that your stranger anxiety as faded away.  One day you were clinging to my side at the mall and the next you were running full speed ahead away from me.  One day you were hiding your head on my shoulder when a stranger spoke to you at the grocery store and now you walk up to them and shake their hand and offer your name and age and whatever random thing is currently on your mind.  As much as it makes me happy to see you bloom, this change has been a scary one for me as I am constantly nervous that you will be snatched up by some stranger.  Based on your daddy's idea based on Finding Nemo and the diver who took Nemo away from his daddy, we now warn you of "DIVERS" in public and you typically come back pretty quickly.  Thank goodness.

Your vocabulary astounds me - we have complete conversations about all kinds of things and you string together so many words that I don't count anymore.  You ask insightful questions (about the world around you, about how things work, about death, about pretty much anything you could think of) and most people that meet you think you are at least 4.  You constantly ask "Why?"  and  "When I get bigger, can I do XYZ?"

You sing ALL.THE.TIME.  Loudly.  And you make up songs about things that you see around you.  I have had people comment on your singing talents in the grocery store more than once.

We read several books every day.  You go in search of specific books in your collection and find them pretty quickly.  You can even "read" the books to me - I love to hear you read "The Monster at the End of the Book".  You can say your alphabet and can recite numbers into the 30s but you like to skip some numbers in the teens.  You also recognize quite a few letters and numbers but working on recognition has been a bit tough as you get frustrated - you want to be able to form each one PERFECTLY and when something isn't just right, you don't like it one little bit.  (I think you get that from both your mommy and your daddy.) 

You help around the house and love to help me cook.  You actually helped me to make the cupcakes that we had on your actual birthday.

You love to play with trucks and balls and your dogs (although "play" could be translated into chase and choke).  You love to ride your scooter or run around the block.  You love to jump and climb and you challenge us to try to do what you can do.  You love to dig in the dirt and play in the sand and try to pick up bugs.  You have started a rock collection. 

You are such a sweet little boy and I am so glad you are a part of our family.  It wouldn't be the same without you.  We love you!

Mommy and Daddy

2nd Birthday Party

 

Carder's birthday party was a great success.  All of the preplanning I had done really paid off as the days before the party weren't slammed with things to do.  Except to finish that darned cupcake stand.  And those Oreo pops that I had grand plans for (which could have been posted on the Pin.terest Fa.il website because I think I bought the wrong kind of chocolate to dip them in).

 

I used a computer program to make 2 pictures into a panoramic one.  I didn't realize until after the fact that it photo-shopped the "R" out of birthday.  Oh well.  You get the idea...

 

We did the grocery shopping on Friday, so Saturday we only had to get balloons and put out all the goodies.  And run a 5K first thing in the morning...

We have a fenced in back yard and beautiful (sunny but not too hot) weather, so we planned to have most of the party outdoors.  I wanted to make sure the kids had fun and organized games are a bit hard for this age group. 

There was a bubble station with several different types of bubbles set up on a table (which was covered with a plastic tablecloth for easy cleanup).  This was a very popular station for all the kids.  I had anticipated it's popularity and placed the table in a shady spot.

There was an art easel with both paper and a chalkboard and plenty of markers and sidewalk chalk.

There was Carder's basketball goal and a plethora of balls.

There were trucks and cars and every riding toy we own in the backyard.

Party guests (well, except for Derek's family as they were already there before party time) started arriving right on time at 4:00.  We had used ballons staked to the ground with golf tees to mark our house and I think everyone found the place fairly easily.

The house and the yard filled up fast.  Even though we invited guests from several different areas of our lives, everyone seemed to mingle well.  The adults had fun relaxing in the backyard while the kids ran all over the place and had a blast.

Carder shared his toys incredibly well and the only altercation between kids seemed to be a slight spat over the Co.zy Cou.pe.

We sang the birthday song and Carder blew out a candle on his cupcake.  And then refused to eat the cupcake.  (Don't worry, I ate it.  We don't waste cupcakes at our house.)

When it came time for opening presents, we brought them all out into the yard so that none of the kids had to stop playing to watch another kid open his presents.  I also brought out the gift bags at that time so that there would be something for everyone to open.

 

It went so much better than I could have ever imagined.  I even had one mom tell me I should write a book on how to throw kids parties, so I will call it a win!

2nd Birthday Party Planning

Carder's 2nd Birthday party is this coming weekend.  Although his 1st Birthday party turned out just fine, there was a part of me that felt like I has "skimped" on his party because I didn't make a lot of things myself.  Although I know it makes no difference to him, I wanted his 2nd Birthday to have more effort on my part.

So, a few weeks ago, I began planning and creating.  Thanks to Pin.terest, I had more ideas than I had time.

I started out with the invites.  I used to make our own Christmas Cards each year, so making party invitations was a lot of fun.  I did do something a little bit different this time and I printed certain parts of the invitation rather than hand stamping/writing it all.  Other parts were added as embellishments by hand - like the ribbon and the foam ball stickers.  They were delivered to recipients in pretty clear envelopes that look really cool in real life but make picture taking tricky due to the glare.* 

 

My next inspiration was for a cupcake stand.  I decided pretty quickly what I wanted the top of the stand to look like and I think it turned out great.

 

The cupcake stand itself wasn't as much of a slam dunk.  I found a few tutorials and examples online and it looked pretty easy.  I couldn't find premade cardboard cake rounds without having to buy them in bulk, so I decided to make them myself. Derek brought home some boxes and I set to work.  Getting perfectly round cardboard circles was not quite as easy as I had thought it would be.  After covering them with wrapping paper and edging them with ribbon, they didn't look quite like I thought they would, but they would do.  The spacers became my problem.  Nothing I tried made seemed sturdy enough.  Since putting cupcakes on an unsteady stand seemed like a recipe for cupcake disaster, I scrapped that plan and went with a new one.  I am currently in the process of making another one out of boxes.  Since there will be no flimsy risers involved, I think this one will work.

 

I also made picks to stick in the top of the cupcakes with the same foam stickers I used for the invitations.

 

I made a personalized birthday banner (thanks to my friend Xio who could flip letters upside down with her newer computer and software!!!)

 

I found a giant bubble wand and a couple more smaller ones.  I made some Super Bubble solution to use at the party to blow big bubbles.

 

Next were the gift bags - inside are homemade bubbles (from the Super Bubble Recipe), play dough, funny glasses, foam ball stickers, temporary tattoos, and some fruit snacks.

 

I have also made thank you notes too!

 

Still on the to do list are chocolate covered Oreo pops (that will look like baseballs and basketballs) and finishing up the cupcake stand. 

 

And of course the food...This is where I have opted to take the easy route on a few things and buy a fruit tray and a veggie tray and I ordered my cupcakes (baking isn't my strongest suit).

 

Hopefully these last couple of days will be productive and Carder will have a wonderful 2nd Birthday!

 

 *Should you decide that you would like to mail things in clear envelopes, I think I got them here.  But you can Goggle Clear Envelopes and find other suppliers.  They come in many shapes and sizes and are a great way to showcase your hand made cards.  Just be forewarned that the USPS charges more to mail them because they can't be machined.

 



1st Birthday Party

For Carder's first birthday, we had a small party at our house.  Derek's parents, grandpa, and sister were able to attend.  My parents watched the cake and gift opening via FaceTime.  We also had a couple of the neighbors over and a few other friends.  It was a very low key party.

You know how most children (especially young ones) hate the birthday hats?  Not our son.  I tried his birthday hat on him to see how he would react and he loved it.  If it was anywhere in his line of vision, he would point at it and grunt or cry for it.  Once you put it on his head, he was happy as could be.  And if you took it off, he cried for it again.*  It really was quite humorous to see.

One of Carder's gifts was a swing for the back yard.  We hung it on our newly constructed pergola.

Somebody give me a push, will you?

The cake was served at about the time that Carder started getting tired.  He was a little bit timid as he began to eat the cake.  He dipped his fingers into the icing and then gingerly tasted a tiny amount.  Taste after taste, the bites kept getting faster and the hand moved more rapidly from the cake to his face.  In the end, he was sucking the icing off of four fingers at one time.  A fer minutes after the cake was taken away, he began to giggle uncontrollably.  It was quite funny.

I don't know why all of you people are watching me eat this sweet thing...but stop taking pictures because I am still trying to eat!

Here, Daddy.  Let me share my cake with you.  Would you like that on your check?

On a Sugar High...

He got a lot of nice presents for his birthday.  He has really enjoyed his new duplo blocks, his swing, his busy ball popper...but he got so many things it is hard to nail down which one is his favorite!

*  About 4 days after the party, I finally hid the hat in the closet to avoid him wearing it all day every day...

They Say It's Your Birthday...

Today is my 34th birthday.

Last year, just as it had been for the last several years, my birthday was a disaster. All day long, I was depressed because I thought I would never be able to grasp that golden ring of motherhood.

Today, I awoke with a smile. I have a son. I finally got my birthday wish.

And as I sat in the NICU, rocking my adorable baby boy after is 9am feeding, I wispered to my sweet little bundle of joy that he is the best birthday gift EVER.

And, as if he knew that it was my birthday, the little guy has had an excellent 24 hours of feedings. He has taken well over half of each bottle AND has eaten 2 of them entirely. He even woke up 30 minutes early for his 9 am feeding absolutely starving!

Birthdays Suck!

So, if you couldn't tell from the title, I think that birthdays suck. Or at least mine does. Okay, maybe not totally, but it was cause for tears more than once today.

The day started off pretty well. A very early phone call from my (not so) little brother, singing from Derek, a call from my Dad, a call from my Mom, another call from said (not so) little brother, gifts from my employees, lunch with 2 of my best girlfriends, a suprise gift in the mail from my Grandma...what most people would probably consider to be a stellar birthday.

But those people have not suffered through IF and weren't there with me at the coffee pot for the moment of clarity that I had that brought on the first wave of tears.

Was it that I am now officially 32??? Nope.

32 and childless? You are getting warmer...

It was the realization that 33 and childless is highly probable. That thought absolutely SUCKED! And it was reason to sob about being another year older before I even left the house for work.

Some of you may wonder how I got to this realization. Well, it is fairly simple. After our break from treatments, we will be attempting with our frostie starting at the beginning of August with a transfer date of mid September. If that doesn't work, it will be at least 6 to 12 months before we would be able to attempt with Donor embryos. B-E-A-UTIFUL. Another Christmas. Another Easter. Another Mother's Day. One more year of feeling broken.

Now, don't get me wrong. I am not ALL doom and gloom. I have already calculated when the due date would be if the frostie were to be successful and I do know that I could get a baby as a birthday present next year. But after so much disappointment, it is just hard to think that positively or be that hopeful anymore...

Anyway, I am another year older. Break out the bubbly. Just because I don't feel like celebrating doesn't mean I can't get drunk, right?