Things today were much better than yesterday. Thank you all for your kind thoughts and comments.
Having some time to discuss the situation with Derek face to face was just what we both needed. It gave us time to process the possibility of going through the process and ending up with nothing to transfer. Up until that point, we had never really considered that outcome, even if the possibility is slight. In addition, our conversation last night helped us to identify the way to phrase our questions to get the information we were really looking for.
I have never been the kind of person that thinks fast on their feet during an emotionally charged conflict. When the punches start rolling, my emotions override my ability to think fast enough and I always walk away thinking "What I should have said was..." This fact about myself didn't help the conversation yesterday, either.
Today, I put in another call to the donor coordinator. Although I don't know the number of embryos in the set we are using, I do have some more definitive information. I was also able to phrase some questions in a format that allowed me to find out additional information without actually finding out specifics.
Hypothetically, if we start with 15 embryos in this set, they will start by thawing 2 or 3 to get our 2 to transfer. Should the first few not result in 2 viable embryos, they will continue to thaw until they reach the 2 embryos for our transfer, even if they exhaust ALL 15. The only situation that would result in having only 1 to transfer would be if all 15 were thawed and only 1 survived.
Should the situation actually result in no embryos to transfer, we would still remain at the top of the EA list and would be offered the next set of available embryos.
In addition, I did find out that they will accept a donation as small as 1 embryo, but they will inform the recipients of the small number as this may effect their decision. (Between the lines, there are more than 1 or 2)
The embryos in the set we are using have been used by previous couples, although I don't know the exact thaw rate or the outcome of these attempts. They are also fairly positive that after our transfer, there will be enough embryos left to pass on to several other couples. (Between the lines, there are quite a few in the set)
The embryos are from an egg donor cycle where the eggs were strong and healthy. These cycles result in strong, healthy embryos and the donor coordinator feels the risk of walking away without at least transferring something are very small.
The only question I didn't get answered deals with the financial side of things should there be nothing to transfer, we are still at the top of the list, and the next set becomes available. The donor coordinator doesn't deal with those details so I will have to call the financial coordinator back to ask that question.
We did find out for certain that there is no coverage for an EA cycle through our insurance. The remainder of our IF coverage will go to cover the medications and the other items not included in our cycle fee.
I am still hopeful that Derek's company's adoption assistance plan will recognize embryo adoption as a type of adoption. We will just have to see how that pans out.
6 comments:
Sounds like they have hope with the number of good quality embryos. Glad you called back!
I completely hear you on emotions getting in the way. I'm glad that you were able to discuss it and prepare yourselves before you called back. And I'm glad that you got a lot more information out of the coordinator this time.
I guess I can understand some privacy concerns affecting how they would answer your questions. But I wish they had been more forthcoming in the beginning. It would have saved you a lot of headache and worry.
MUCH better news than yesterday! Yay for answers!
Hey girl. I asked some of those exact same questions yesterday at my RE. He told me (to my surprise) that if we accept a set of embryos that only has, say 1 or 2, and none survive the thaw, we get moved back to the bottom of the list. Also, if we only get 1 or 2 and transfer both but neither sticks, we are again at the bottom of the list. This information has got us thinking that we will probably pass on a set of only 1-3, and wait for a larger set of embryos. After all, we have waited this long and I'd rather wait one or two extra months than have to be back at square one. As of right now, I think we are 7th on the list. When we signed on in April, the wait time was 6-12mos, and right now it is 2 yrs for new additions to the list. WOW. Glad we got on when we did!
PS- Where in GA do you live? I may have already asked you that, but forgot. :) I'm in NW Georgia, near Chattanooga.
I'm so sorry I'm late to respond on this. I'm glad you got some of your questions vaguely answered. I'm sure that it's stressful and frustrating not to be able to get straight answers about all of this but you really have your ducks in a row and I'm sure many people wouldn't have even thought to ask the questions you did. You really did your research and I'm sure you will end up being as prepared as they will let you to move forward. Please keep us posted and continue to be your own advocate!!
Carli, I am so very sorry to be posting so late in this. It sounds like you had one heck of a week (to put it mildly). It completely sucks when you enter new territory of expanding your family and to come across new blips (again, to put it mildly). After so much careful research and thinking you should have hit every possible question or scenario, only to have something new to crop up has got to be increasingly stressful. I am glad to find out that at least you were able to get some information and I hope it helps as you move forward. Blech! Love you!
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