2+ Years Later

When we moved to Michigan 2+ years ago (has it really been that long ago???), I was very excited about moving here and starting over.  I was also a bit nervous – the largest move in my previous history was my move to college in 1995.  But two years later, here we are – fully settled into our new city and lifestyle.  Sort of.

Lots of things have changed in our lives – we have a new home, we have a child, we have new jobs, we make a lot less money, we spend a lot less money…

So does the reality measure up to the imagined?

Well, I don’t know.

Home Wise:  I love the location we are in and the house we have.  Would there be a few tweaks I would make?  Sure.  But I am so glad we aren’t living in a drafty old house that needs remodeling (Been there, done that, wouldn’t want to attempt it with a toddler unless you paid me a million dollars and I could live in a hotel while the construction crew worked.)

Job Wise:   I absolutely LOVE my job – more than any other job I have had in the past.  The company is great, the hours couldn’t be better, the pay is wonderful (especially since I am just part time).  I don’t think I would change anything about my employment situation – not right now.  And if I did make a change, it would be in the number of hours I work and some of what I do (because a lot of it is data entry and I get bored).  But I wouldn't change the place I work.  Derek, on the other hand, isn’t exactly as happy as I am.  He took a BIG pay cut (and also a big cut in title/respect) for the ability to move to the location we wanted to live in.  While he still appreciates the value in living where we chose to live, the pay cut sucks.  And so does the loss of feeling important.  This is especially hard on him when he sees emails from his former co-workers who are moving up the corporate ladder.  There are very few rungs left for him on the ladder he is on.

Financially:  When we moved here, we didn’t know what my employment was going to be.  We planned our expenses around what Derek was going to be making.  My wages are going special projects (like the pergola and fireplace in the backyard), repairs/replacements (the new washing machine and mattress), the little extras in life (like dining out and entertainment), and into savings.  We have made some bank this last year, which is nice.  Do we still have the conversations about “what if” we still made our old salaries and lived on our current budget?  Well, yeah.  And that is freaking depressing.  But we are doing OK.

Friend Wise:  This one has been tough on me.  We have several people whom we call “friends”  in our new location and these relationships are growing.  I still consider my “BFF” in Georgia to be my bestie, even if we don’t talk as much as we used to and don’t’ get to have our lunches together 2-3 times per week.  Now, I pick up lunch and eat it at my desk.  As far as couple outings, we probably go out and do things with other couples more now than we did when we lived in Georgia (because we don’t spend every free moment remodeling a house).  But there are times I am seriously lonely.  It isn’t as if I want to trade my BFF in for another one, but I most of the time I feel like I am nothing more than an “acqaintence” to these friends I have made.  I get offers for play dates and couple dates and act on them and reciprocate the offers.  There are some relationships that show promise, but I often find myself feeling like I am walking the line between being friendly and stalker.  This is further complicated by my southern “manners”.  Where I grew up, you offered to do things like bring food after surgery or help out with the kids for a friend when she had a Dr. appt and her husband is out of town.  There have been a few times I have made offers like this and the result has been the sound of crickets – as in my offer isn’t even acknowledged…I almost feel as if I am in middle school and I am chasing after some high school boy that doesn’t even know my name.  So sad, really.  I do have a friend that I have done a few things with that shows promise, so that is nice.

Lifestyle Wise:  (Please note – I am in NO WAY saying that I wish we didn’t have a child, so anything said here that makes me seem any less than grateful for our child is not intended).  This one has been a tough one on both of us.  We wanted to move here for all it had to offer – awesome downtown and eateries, festivals, wineries and microbreweries, the bike trail, skiing, snowshoeing, the beaches…  But we planned our move here based on the life we knew – one without a child.  It was easy to imagine how much fun our lives here when a childless existence was all we had known.  But as they say, having a child changes everything.  Perhaps we are bad at parenting (because Carder isn’t a “difficult” child), but we can’t quite seem to figure out how to do everything we would like to do.  As he has gotten older, doing the things we wanted to do has gotten easier – but it takes planning and foresight and you have to be home to get him to bed at a reasonable time – it’s just so much more complicated and difficult than I ever imagined it would be.   This spring has shown me that perhaps this summer will be the one where the reality starts to live up to our expectations a bit more.

Plus, we need to find babysitter for those non-child friendly activities.  We do have my in-laws who live 2.5 hours away who will gladly come babysit at any time (and for that we are very appreciative and we love the fact that Carder gets to spend time with his grandparents).  On the downside, it requires an overnight stay on their part (which makes romantic date night out of the question in my book).   The 2.5 hour trip means you also have to have advance planning (there is no deciding to go to the movies and to dinner early in the day because that is totally unfair to them).

The bottom line - Is our city still KICK ASS?  Absolutely.  Just maybe in a different way than we originally thought it would be.  And perhaps even more so this summer.  I sure hope so.