Funny Story about Murfy and Carder

Murfy and Carder have gotten to be pretty good buddies.  Carder has been chasing Murfy with his walker for quite a while now.  I think that prepared Murfy for a crawling baby.

Now, Carder crawls all over the place chasing Murfy and chatting away at him.  Murfy will either run from Carder or run to him and try to play with him.  We always watch the two of them closely just in case, but so far there haven't been any issues and Murfy has tolerated hair pulling quite well.



When the two of them are playing, Carder regularly gives Murfy love - plenty of hugs and kisses and it is really cute to watch. 

And when Murfy doesn't want to play, he tries - unsuccessfully - to hide on the couch.  Carder is very good at finding him.

Our biggest problem has been defining to Murfy which toys don't belong to him - Carder's blocks and pacifiers are frequently chewed to oblivion.

The other day, Carder was in his walker and threw his pacifier on the ground.  I was hanging up some laundry but was on my last shirt and thought I had plenty of time to finish before Murfy snatched up the pacifier and chewed it to pieces.  Moments later, Carder was looking towards the corner of the couch and was pitching an absolute fit.  I hurried in to see what was wrong and found Murfy with Carder's pacifier.

Not chewing it.  Sucking it like a baby.  And tormenting Carder in the process.

Of course, I did what any good mother would do.  I ran for the camera... 

My First Mother's Day

After all of the years that I longed to be a Mother, I suppose you could say that I was expecting quite a bit of pomp and circumstance.  The day didn't turn out quite as I had expected or had hoped, but it was till a wonderful day.

We have been planning on adding a pergola to our patio. However, construction projects with an infant at home can be tough. Derek was going to take a couple of days off work, so we planned to work on it that weekend. And, since we needed someone to watch Carder, we asked Derek's parents to come watch him for us. Their only availability was on Sunday. I hadn't wanted to have company on Mother's day, nor had I wanted to spend my entire day on my first Mother's day with someone else hugging on my sweet baby. (Absolutely selfish, I know...)  But, since it was a favor to us, I was going to suck it up and take what was available, so the plans were made.

And then Derek couldn't take the days off work, meaning we couldn't work on the pergola.

On Friday night, we worked to install an outdoor fireplace, lit a fire, and were enjoying a couple of beers.  Derek called to tell his parents the change of plans and they asked if they could still come up on Sunday anyway.  He told them yes. Considering the fact that I had already had a couple of beers and was a bit tipsy, I decided not to say anything.

The next day, I told him that wasn't how I wanted to spend MY first Mother's day - with his Mom getting all Carder's hugs and having to entertain company. *  To his credit, I think he understood and he offered to call to tell them not to come.   However, I told him not to.   His mom was probably looking forward to seeing her son and grandson for Mother's Day and if he cancelled, it was going to be because I was being a bitch and didn't want to get along with everyone.

The day started with me cooking a couple of quiches for us to all eat for breakfast.  After they were in the oven and the in-laws had arrived, I took my shower. We ate a nice breakfast and then took a 13 mile bike ride.  Carder wasn't really enjoying himself so we stopped for me to check on him.  No wonder he didn't like our first ride and wasn't liking this one - his helmet had a sticky place that was pulling his hair out!  After taking the helmet off, he seemed to really enjoy himself.

That afternoon, we picked up dinner at a local Italian restaurant. The in-laws left before it got too late, so I still got some nice 1 on 1 time with Carder. And Derek got me a nice card and a set of adirondack chairs for the backyard.    And Carder - well, he held on to me tightly when anyone else reached for him.  That made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.  :)

All in all, it was a nice day... I think his Mom knew that it wasn't what I had wanted for my first Mother's Day. She commented on me having to cook when I should be getting pampered (to which I responded that when you have company, you have to cook even if it is your day to get pampered). And later she said that she appreciated me sharing my day and that she knew she had invited herself (I just smiled because I am a terrible liar).

* Don't get me wrong, if we had been closer in distance to my mom, we would have seen her - and I would have resented that, too.

Such Sad News

Today, my plan was to post about my first Mother's Day or Carder's 11 month post. However, I typically begin my blogging session by catching up with others. I was stunned and saddenened to hear that fellow IFer and blogger, jenknepper, has suffered another tragic loss. If you haven't followed her story, she and her husband were blessed with twin identical twin girls (via IVF). However, one of the girls died shortly after birth. The other daughter bravely fought for 16 months and passed away this weekend. I can't imagine the strength you would need to survive the loss of one child, much less two. My heart is aching for Jen and her family. It just doesn't seem right to post about my Mother's Day today when all I can think about right now is how she spent hers mourning... Please send thoughts and prayers her way.

11 Months Old

Dear Carder,
Here we are, one short month away from your birthday. Your Daddy and I have started the planning, but I seriously can't believe you are almost one year old!

Let's see... You haven't taken a bottle in about a month. I am thinking you are SO done with bottles. In a way, I am glad that we won't have to break your addiction to bottles (because I think the pacifier addiction will be terrible for you to give up).   Now that we are used to it, your daddy and I aren't as stressed about how much fluids you are getting each day.  Ok, I am lying.   At least we aren't stressing as much as we did those first couple of weeks.   We have you eating about 5 solid meals each day, plus finger foods.   You refuse to drink formula or milk from your sippy.   You will drink water or juice though.   So, we have been sticking to what works.   I will be taking you back to the doctor soon just to make sure you aren't loosing weight or missing out nutritionally. As far as self feeding goes, you are eating more and more each day.   I think you would be doing even better if I did a better job of planning ahead and cooking meals you can eat.   For some reason, I am hesitant to give you spicy white chicken chili... But the way things are going, you will be eating that the next time I blink!

And what do you have to eat with?  2 adorable little teeth.  You are working on 2 more, though.  I have a feeling those will be showing up very soon.  Your gums are very swollen and it looks very painful.

As the weather here has been warming up, you have been LOVING the outdoors.  We frequently go on walks to the park.   You absolutely love to swing and you literally squeal when you see the swing set.   You have been enjoying crawling through the grass and playing on the park playscape as well.   You still can't do that without Mommy's help, though.   You are so friendly with everyone at the park - it is quite cute to watch you "flirt" with the people near you.   We took you on your first couple of bike rides this month.   The first one was a disaster as you fell asleep and the helmet was so heavy that your little head fell over and you cried the whole way home.   It was pretty miserable for all of us.  Hopefully future trips will be better and we are looking forward to many more bike trips this summer!

You are getting so much more mobile - you traded your army crawling for real crawling and are getting pretty fast with it. You have also been getting braver with standing unassisted. We have seen you stand for a couple of seconds at a time while not holding on to anything. And now, instead of plopping down, you lower yourself in a controlled manner most of the time. Each day you get a little braver and a little better.

Your newest thing lately is making funny faces. You have been furrowing your eyebrows, narrowing your eyes while huffing (daddy says you learned that one from me), and giving us the most cheesy grin. I don't know which one is my favorite - they all make me laugh. I keep trying to get your picture while you do it, but you lunge for the camera.   This is my best attempt so far.

Your favorite toy right now is any kind of ball. If you can throw it and chase after it, you are happy...

After implementing a few sleep training tips, your sleep has greatly improved and you have been sleeping almost all night long. I am still rocking you to sleep every night, but now that you have given up bottles, I know that I should hang onto those moments as long as I can and I won't be letting that go any time soon.

I love you , little guy!
Mommy

Sleep Training is NOT for Sissies

As I have mentioned SEVERAL times in the past on my blog, long stretches sleep at our house is often like a warm sunny spring day – it doesn’t happen often and when it does, you had damned well better enjoy it.

A few weeks ago, I was exhausted and desperate for more sleep.  Therefore, I naturally began looking into sleep training options.  After a quick synopsis of the two basic methods of Cry It Out (CIO) or No Cry (NC), I quickly determined that I was of the kinder, gentler sleep training mindset.  The reasons for this are plentiful:

·         Although I have many friends who sing the praises of CIO, I can’t fathom sitting in the next room while I listen to my baby cry and wail and plea for me.  I am just cut out that way.  I can’t stand to hear my baby cry when I know I could comfort him.  So a week of doing that night after night?  I think I would rather be tortured (bamboo shoots under my fingernails?  Bring it on.  Make me listen to my baby cry for me and not let me comfort him?  What deep, dark secret do you want to know???)  This wouldn’t work for me unless I am drugged with some good earplugs in and Daddy is handling it.

·         Daddy can’t handle the baby crying either.  And has less willpower than me. 

·         Many people who have tried CIO report that repeat training sessions are often necessary after bouts of illness or teething.  Um, have you READ my blog???  If I can’t imagine stomaching a week of listening to a week of crying, just imagine how nuts I would be to have to rinse, lather, and repeat after the next cold/ear infection/teething session.

So, there you have it.

I have scoured the Internet for tips on improving infant sleep.  And, as I mentioned in my last post, I picked up a copy of the No Cry Sleep Solution (NCSS) because it sounded like perhaps it would do the trick for us.  I have been reading it every time I get the chance and have enough brain power to retain more than a sentence.  And even though I haven’t read the book cover to cover yet, I have tried to implement a few of the ideas.  It hasn’t been the easiest thing I have ever done…

What I have learned so far?

Sleep training is tough stuff.  It takes willpower - and lots of it - to attempt to break an old habit and break in a new one.  Especially when you are running on little sleep.  Because it is a TON easier to do what is easier and takes less energy at 3:30 in the morning when you have been up with the baby for the last hour and a half and you have to work the next day.   And sometimes you just have to put him in your bed for the last hour and a half so that you can get a little rest and vow to do better the next day.

It is my fault my baby can’t sleep.  That’s right.  You read that correctly.  My fault.  Because his eating was so important (as a preemie), if he fell asleep taking the bottle but kept drinking, I didn’t wake him up.  I let him pass out while feeding, finish the bottle, and then I would hold him (and cuddle and stare at him in awe) until I laid him in his bed sound asleep.  And even if he didn’t fall asleep during the bottle, I would hold him after he finished and we would cuddle until he drifted off to sleep.  After all, I waited 6 EXCRUCIATINGLY LONG YEARS to have a baby.  What harm could it do to snuggle???  But according to the experts, I created this sleep association for him and now I have to break that association.  (But I love to rock him to sleep…so a catch 22 here…)  I should have started putting him down drowsy (but not asleep) to teach him how to fall asleep on his own.  Before he learned to sit and stand and call out “mama” to me from his crib.  Yeah, a baby who doesn’t know how to stand up would probably go for that trick a little better than my little guy.  If you lie him down drowsy, his eyelids pop wide open, he rolls over, sits up, stands up, and reaches for me.  And if I don’t grab him?  Cries and calls for Mama. And I turn to gooey mush.

Put him to bed earlier.  Sources recommend anywhere from 6 – 7:30 as an appropriate bedtime.  What about working moms, you might ask?  Well, these sources recommend that you go to bed earlier and wake up earlier to spend some quality morning time with your baby.  Well that advice can suck it.  I rush from work to day care to home.  This gets me there somewhere around 5:30 or 6.  I am lucky if Derek makes it in the door before 6 on most nights.  To accomplish a 6pm bedtime, I would have to give him a bath and put him to bed as soon as I walk in the door from work.  And I am NOT a morning person (just ask my husband) so getting up at 4am to start my day isn’t going to happen.  And where in there do they suggest that you cook/eat dinner and spend some time with your husband or getting chores done around the house???  However, I did take this advice to heart and we have pushed his bedtime back to somewhere between 7:15 and 7:45 depending on how his naps were during the day and his general attitude.  That does seem to be helping some.

Set a bedtime routine and stick to it.  Every night.  We had a “general” routine.  Bath, Lotion & massage, PJs, Bottle, Books, Rock to Sleep.  But we don’t do everything in the same order every night – sometimes it was books before the bath, sometimes after the PJs.  Sometimes after the bottle.  And we don’t bathe every night.  So, I have been working on setting a more stable routine.  The bottle refusal of late has really made that difficult though.  If he refuses the bottle and has only had 4 meals that day, we do one more solid meal before bedtime.  But, if he has done really well on his sippy and had 5 meals or 4 really big ones, we may go straight to bedtime.  Hopefully we can hammer a new routine out shortly and see if that makes a difference.

If a bath doesn’t soothe your baby, don’t do it right before bedtime.  In addition, if you don’t want to bathe you baby every night, don’t make it part of your bedtime routine.  That one was a biggie for me.  Carder LOVES his bath.  But he often comes out of his bath all riled up – even if he was rubbing his eyes and yawning right before the bath.  In the last week, we have made bath time one of our first activities when Derek walks in the door so that we have time for quiet playtime and calming down before bed.  So far, that does seem to be helping a bit.

“Sleeping Through The Night” is considered a 5-6 hour stretch.  Not 12 hours.  OK, so this point makes me wonder if we even NEED sleep training.  When he isn’t sick or teething or overtired, he goes to bed and will sleep for a 5-6 hour stretch.  I can HANDLE those nights, no problems.  I don’t mind getting up once in the middle of the night to soothe him. 

Actually, I am afraid to put this out onto the blogosphere because it will jinx us - but the last few nights he has slept pretty well.  I got at least 3-4 hour stretches of sleep (one mid night waking at most) and I woke up feeling drugged because I actually slept.  So this leaves me to question - maybe we don’t need sleep training after all???

Trifecta

So - A quick update after the Doctor's appointment.

In addition to the double ear infection (which is looking better, thank GOD) and teething, my poor baby has Thrush.  And apparently thrush is pretty painful and can cause feeding issues as well.*

First of all, I feel like a terrible mother because I didn't see it.  I thought I noticed a white film in his mouth a couple of days ago, but seeing in his mouth is so freaking hard.  He doesn't understand when you tell him that you want to look in his mouth just yet so instead he just fights you.

Hopefully the tooth will break through soon.  And the thrush will get better.  And my poor baby will feel better.

The in-laws headed home tonight and he will be going to day care tomorrow.  We need to see how he will do so that we can determine if I will need to adjust my working schedule from 3 days a week to 4 shorter days if he won't take his sippy at day care.

On a positive note - he went to bed easier tonight.  That isn't to say that he didn't fight it.  But, he actually fell asleep by 8:05.  He woke up 2 times about an hour later, but has been sleeping for the last couple of hours quite soundly.  Here's to hoping, anyway.  **

I hope he sleeps better tonight.  He has to be tired.  I know I am and I don't require nearly the amount of sleep per night that he does...

*Perhaps our bottle feeding days are not over???
**I am reading the No-Cry Sleep Solution.  Hopefully I can report to you all soon that the tactics in this book have afforded me a much better night's sleep.  If I can only stay awake to read it...

Feeding Strike! Again! Ugh!

When Carder isn't feeling well, the first thing he does is slow down on his bottle feedings.  This had been happening and Carder just wasn't acting himself.  He was fussy and pulling at his ears a lot.  He also was suffering from a very stuffy nose that was filled with bloody boogies every morning.  (Reading between the lines, sleep also deteriorated at this point).  So, on Monday 4/16/12, I took him to the Pediatrician to see if perhaps he had an ear infection or if he was suffering from allergies or another virus.

The Ped looked him over and said that his ears were fine.  He didn't rule out allergies and suggested children's Zyr.tec.  He also suggested that perhaps we were working on some teeth and that would explain the ear tugging.

By Wednesday 4/18/12, Carder was flat out refusing the bottle again.  And when I say refusing, I don't mean that he just turns his nose up at the bottle when it is offered.  I am talking back arching, screaming, wiggling to get out of Mommy's arms refusal.  After struggling to see inside his mouth and almost losing an eye to see it a quick glance at his gums, it was apparent that he was working on getting his upper left Maxillary tooth.  A few google searches later and Dr. Mommy had concluded that since this tooth was much bigger than the bottom, it could be the culprit for our refusal to eat.  After all, the bottom teeth caused the bottle rejection issue - for a week at a time.

But this time, he was refusing to let us get fluids into him through our normal means of a straw or syringe.  At least he was taking a water from sippy cup.  So we upped his solids feedings to 4 times a day with larger servings.  We had gone to my in-laws for a visit with them, Derek's sister, and Derek's grandfather for the weekend. But Carder was too interested in the new surroundings and all the people to drink anything.  We left shortly after arriving for fear that another trip to the ER for fluids was in our future. (Luckily, we have avoided that so far.)

Since he didn't do well with his sippy cup at Day Care, we were afraid to send him.  My MIL came to stay with him while I went to work.  After 7 days of refusing the bottle, we had also added waking up SCREAMING to our list of symptoms.  On Wednesday (4/25/12) we returned to the Pediatricians office.  This time he was diagnosed with a double ear infection on top of the teething.  Carder got some antibiotics and some ear drops. *

Thankfully, the screaming at night has stopped.  But, he still is sleeping like absolute shit.  And even worse?  He used to go down for bed at around 8ish at night.  Since Sunday (4/29/12), he has been fighting bedtime terribly.  He will fall asleep in my arms and when I go to lie him in the crib, he wakes up, flips over, and stands up in his crib.  Sunday night it was 10:00 before he finally went down for the night.  Monday was a little better with him finally drifting off at 9:30.  Tuesday night was another 9:30 night.  And once he reaches that “overtired” point, he is clingy and wired.  We tried lying him down to see if he just needed some alone time.  Nope - he stands in his crib and jumps up and down.  He squeals with delight when you open the door to check on him.  It is like he is all hyped up on sugar or something.  I broke down and bought some room darkening curtains for his room to see if that would help (no such luck yet). 
Once he finally goes down, his nighttime sleeping has recently involved waking up as frequently as hourly.  Usually I get things taken care of (laundry, eating dinner, spending time with Derek, having a few minutes of “me” time) after he goes to bed.  The last few nights, after hours of rocking and soothing my sweet little boy to sleep, I plop down and stare into space like a zombie – absolutely spent.

But sleeping isn’t our only problem.  In addition, he is still refusing the bottle (that is for 2 weeks straight now, just in case you lost count).  I absolutely abhor, detest, cringe at the thought of offering him the bottle right now - the screaming and throwing himself around to avoid the bottle is terrible.  Maddening, even.  I am so afraid that he is going to throw himself back and slam his head into the arm of the chair or fall to the floor.  It totally stresses me out and I dread every bottle offered.  It’s just a waste of formula at this point.  (And that crap is too expensive to waste!)  And making sure he gets enough fluid is like an all day marathon.  And you have to make sure you don't let him know you are stressed about how much he is drinking (or the lack thereof) or he will refuse to take the sippy. **

I am taking him back to the pediatrician this evening to see if his ears are cleared up or if we are still battling both ear infections and teething at the same time.  Hopefully this will end soon.***

Needless to say, I am – once again – exhausted.  This explains my blogging/commenting absence.  (And why his 10 month post was posted today.  Without any pictures.) 

*We have tried Tyle.nol and Ibupro.phen for the pain.  Ora.jel, too.  None seem to help a bit.  At least the stuffy nose/bloody boogies has cleared up.

**We have also tried small plastic cups, ped.ialyte, juice, and all temperatures of formula in the sippy cup.  The only thing he is "drinking" is water.

***I am afraid that due to his age, this is "the end" of our bottle feeding days and that he may never pick up the bottle again.  If only I had known, I would have savored that last bottle.  Every last second of it...