All I Want For Christmas Is a Healthy Child

Carder was sick at Christmas last year.  He was refusing fluids and we ended up having to take him to the ER for an IV of fluids.  Christmas plans had to be changed last minute.  It was a very stressful holiday.

Although I wasn't happy when we woke up on Monday morning (12/17/12) with a fever of 99.9, I wasn't overly concerned about it ruining Christmas.  After all, we had over a week until the big day.

Although he played happily that morning, by the afternoon his fever had shot up to 104 and I had a feeling it was going to be ugly.

My MIL came up to take care of him so I could go to work.  The next thing you know, it is Thursday.  He is still running a fever of 104.  A visit to the doctor yesterday ruled out Strep and he does not currently have an ear infection.  However, we were given a prescription for antibiotics to start just in case the fever had not broken by Saturday.

We were supposed to be leaving this morning to head down to the In-Laws for Christmas festivities there.  But, a winter storm yesterday and today has made the roads a bit tricky (my MIL left last night to go home only to turn around and come back because the roads were too bad).  Plus, Carder still had a fever.  Even though the Doctor said to start the antibiotic on Saturday, we moved it up to today as he wasn't better and we wanted to see if he would respond to the antibiotics before exposing Derek's 93 year old grandfather to whatever germs Carder was sharing.

Whether it is coincidence or whether it was actually the antibiotics, his fever is finally lower tonight.  I hope our sweet boy is feeling better by tomorrow and that he will be 100% himself by Christmas.  I would really hate for both his 1st and 2nd Christmases to be spent sick and miserable.

Christmas Photo Shoot 2012

In my mind's eye, I have a vision of what I want our Christmas Card picture to look like.  But I am too cheap to hire a photographer and for some reason I have the idea that I can do it myself with results that are just as amazing.

Since I wanted the picture to include the Christmas tree, I had to wait until it was up to take any pictures.  I usually have the tree up on Thanksgiving Day.  I originally thought I would put the tree up during his nap one day and letting him wake up to a sparkly surprise but I gave up and let him help decorate the tree.  It was much more challenging that way, but also much more fun.

So the tree decorating already had me behind schedule for picture taking.  Then, I tried to wait until Carder was in a great mood to schedule our Christmas Photo Shoot in the hopes that he would be cooperative.

The first day he was more interested in running around and taking the ornaments off of the tree.  I wasn't happy with the results I was getting, so I scrapped that attempt and decided to wait until later.  Then we were running out of time if I wanted to get the cards mailed before New Years.

So I tried again after naptime one day.

I thought perhaps a great picture of him hanging an ornament on the tree...He was so intent on hanging the ornaments on the tree (or setting them on the branches or taking them off the tree or throwing them down or banging them together) that I never quite got the shot I was looking for.

So then I thought I could get him to sit in front of the tree and hold an ornament.  I placed a padded cube in front of the tree.  The resulting picture was OK and more likey to not include the TV that is right beside the tree, but he had no interest in sitting still Surprised?  Yeah, me neither. 

So I thought "I know, I will bribe him with fruit and yogurt bites".  And then I moved on to chocolate advent candy from my parents.  In my mind, this worked out better than in actuality.  Most pictures his hand was going to his face.  Or he was trying to get off of the cube to get another piece of the bribery.  Or he was signing or saying "MORE".

Then I thought "perhaps we will get a great picture with Santa" and you KNOW how that worked out.  And then "DING", time was up.

This was the picture we settled on.  You can see the chocolatey bribe in his hand.  And I think he looks pretty cute.

I did end up getting on of the shots I was looking for during the Christmas festivities.  It just didn't make it on the card.  But now I think I know how to make it happen for next year.

Christmas Sugar Cookies

Carder and I made some salt dough ornaments of his hand print for family members for Christmas.  (Thank you Pinterest).  With the leftover dough, we used a cookie cutter to cut out stars.

When I showed him the baked and hardened result the next day, he tried to eat it.  So, I thought perhaps we should try to make some Christmas Sugar Cookies. 

This was going to be Carder's first time making cookies and I wanted to make it special.  At first, I was all "I am going to make the dough from scratch and be super mom".  And then we were in the grocery store and buying a couple more cookie cutters and I was all "I am super tired and store bought dough would be so much easier and tastes just as good as home made anyway" so I bought a couple of rolls of dough.  And then bought some extra sprinkles to make up for it.

To my surprise and delight, Derek even decided to get in on the act (which would be why there are any pictures of the event..because everyone knows that dough and sprinkles and toddlers on counter tops and cameras don't mix).

Carder loved to shake on the sprinkles but didn't quite understand the concept of shaking it with the holes pointed down., so he covered the counter with green, red, and blue sugar. 

The finished product turned out great and we all enjoyed some freshly baked sugar cookies and a glass of milk.  I hope to make baking cookies as a family a part of Christmas traditions for years to come.

First Visit with Santa

Last year, Carder was too young to understand Santa.  He spent a good bit of time in December very sick (including Christmas Day).  Plus, it was our first Christmas in our new city and I completely dropped the ball on getting him to see Santa.

I knew I wanted to have him see Santa this year.   He still has quite a bit of stranger anxiety.  Perhaps it would have been a better idea to try a "breakfast" with Santa type of deal to give him plenty of time to see him from afar (and stare him down while he accessed the situation).  I didn't know how to approach it the best to be able to get him to sit on Santa's lap and get a good picture.

Our first attempt to see Santa was at the Christmas tree lighting downtown on 12/7/12.   Even though we got there early, it was super crowded.  (And people are A-holes.  If you want to see Santa up close and personal, get there early to reserve a spot.  Don't push your way up front and shove in front of other people with kids who got there earlier and then proceed to put your 6 year old on your shoulders blocking the view of my 18 month old.  But I digress...)  The line to see Santa was super long and it was already pushing bedtime as it was.  We skipped on Santa for that night.

 

Before I knew it, it was the middle of December.  While there were several options still available, we decided that we would try the local Santa Shack to see how it went.  Unfortunately, Carder decided to boycott his nap today and was quite cranky* as we made our way downtown.  I wasn't sure to expect. 

 

Thankfully, there was no line to wait in.  Santa was a very nice (but very young) man with an obviously fake beard that probably looked pretty scary to a toddler with stranger anxiety.  He clung to me for dear life.

 

After the inital screams of "NOOOOO" as he got closer to Santa, he finally calmed down a little bit.  I decided to squat down to get a picture of Carder in my arms where Santa would actually be in the picture (because that Santa shack is REALLY small).

As you can clearly see, Carder was not happy with that, either.  He wanted absolutely nothing to do with getting any closer to that strange man in the red suit with the fake beard.

 

In the end, Carder accepted his Candy Cane and gave Santa "5".  Sometimes you take the best you can get.  We determined that we would forgo any other attempts to see Santa this year as this seemed to be enough torture for one holiday season.

 

*  He had also begun coughing a little bit.  It turned out that he was at the beginning of a very nasty cold/virus and probably wasn't feeling too well today.

It's Like Riding a Bicycle

At least that is my opinion, anyway…

Although I am a mother, I didn’t achieve a pregnancy without medical intervention and without the genetic assistance of others.  And even though I had the honor of carrying my child and experiencing a pregnancy, I am still infertile.

Infertility is like riding a bicycle.  Even though you have taken months off of actively trying to conceive a child, it seems like the muscle memory of your brain just remembers how to fall back into the pitfalls of being an infertile.

Some people speculate that once you have had a baby, your body somehow “learns” how to get pregnant.  This is why you hear of all of the stories – you know the ones…“I know someone who did 8 IVF cycles and finally had a baby and when their baby was 10 months old, they miraculously got pregnant on their own.  Maybe that will happen to you too!?!”  I know this happens.  I know people in the online ALI community who have had this miracle occur and I am truly happy for them.

Do I think I will be one of them?  Nope.  But apparently my unconscious thoughts somewhere in the depths of my mind are hoping this will happen.  I get a reminder of this every month. 

Here are the Facts:

• We are not preventing.  We are not “actively trying”.  Intercourse in our house is timed – but rather than to my cycle it is to when we have the most time and energy for each other – the weekends.

• After Carder was born, I have noticed some changes in my body.  My cycle is still as short as ever (24-25 days) and my periods are still very painful.  But I now experience the tell-tell signs of ovulation every month.  For instance, Egg white cervical mucus is now a monthly occurrence for me – in abundance.  I no longer have to look closely to determine if it is there.  Now, I can easily tell when I wipe and there is no need to get my fingers involved in the process.
• We did achieve one known documented pregnancy that didn’t involve a petri dish and an embryologist.  The documented beta level was only at 45 and I lost the pregnancy by 5 ½ weeks.

The Conclusion:

I am a lunatic infertile whom apparently thinks she is having a miracle baby.  Needing to have intercourse more than once (or at all) in fertile window of 3 days be damned.

Case in Point: 

Last month my cycle was 24 days long.  On day 22 or 23 of this cycle, I had some cramps that I would have sworn AF was coming any minute.  She never showed.  By day 25 when AF hadn’t arrived, I was mentally tallying up every possible pregnancy symptom that I was experiencing. 

I have cramps but no spotting.  I am soooo tired I can barely stay awake after 4pm.  I am absolutely starving but at the same time I think I am going to throw up.  I think my nipples look darker…I must be pregnant.

Derek and I have a conversation about “what if” I really am pregnant and we ponder cute baby names (it’s totally a girl by the way).

I calculate a due date.  I ponder whether I will higher risk due to the preterm labor with my previous pregnancy and will be put on bed rest.  I calculate how much extra this will cost us at daycare.   I think about all of the cute ways we can announce the pregnancy to our families and friends.  I wonder what kind of big brother Carder will be.

I practically had my hands perched on the keyboard to Google “Early Pregnancy Symptoms” and was contemplating run to the drugstore to buy a stick to pee on.

And then the rational side of me took hold of the optimistic side and shook the hell out of it. 

"GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF!!!  YOU ARE INFERTILE.  THE CHILD YOU BORE ISN’T EVEN GENETICALLY RELATED TO YOU!  THE ODDS AREN’T GOOD.  HAVE A GLASS OF WINE AND CHILL THE FUCK OUT."

So I drank some wine (while thinking to myself that I may be pickling my possible child and wondering if it will be my last glass of wine).

And the next day the bitch showed up.

Thank God I didn't go out and waste my money on another damned stick to pee on.

You would think that one of these days I would abandon all hope...At least I no longer sit on the toilet and cry about it, right?

Phrases

Not too long ago, I got an email from a parenting website with a quiz about toddler vocabulary skills.  I don’t remember how long ago that was and time really does fly by, but it seems like it was just a couple of weeks ago.  A month ago at most.

The choices were similar to this:

·         Less than 5 Words

·         20 Words with at least 5 words being spoken clearly

·         50 Words

·         Using 2 + word phrases

While Carder had quite a few words, I remember thinking to myself that we were FAR from him using phrases.  I was actually quite shocked that some children his age were using phrases.  While I didn’t have a list of the words he can say written down, I knew it was quite a few and answered with 20 words.  The responses showed that Carder was with the majority of his peers in his verbal skills.

A few short weeks later (at most) and Carder has begun using phrases.

I don’t remember the exact date, but I don’t think I will ever forget his first phrase.  Derek had been feeding him crackers.  Carder was standing (jumping) on the couch.  He looked at Derek and said “Da Cracker”.  It was either a request for Daddy to give him another cracker or he was saying Derek was the whitest guy he had ever seen.  (And either of these is entirely possible as my husband sings the most grammatically correct rap songs you have ever heard…I will have to tell the story of “My Humps” some day…)

A couple of days later, Carder was playing with his dump truck in the floor and rammed his truck into the leg of the dining room chair.  He looked at me and said what sounded exactly like “I crash it”.

Wow.  Just WOW.

Snowballs

We took a walk around the neighborhood in the snow today.  Carder insisted on walking a good bit of the way.  He must have walked a mile.

When we got back, he wanted to play in the snow so badly.  I let him make snowballs and throw them at the garage.  He had so much fun.