Well, after a friend of mine announced her pregnancy today (UGH - I am not going to go into how I feel about THAT one), I determined that it was time to make the phone call to the Donor Embryo place to get answers to some of our questions.
The good news is that I did find out some answers. The bad news is that I am not entirely happy with what I found out.
Firstly, the 6 months to a year time frame quoted in my first call to them months ago was a little off. The actual time frame is at least 10 months. Possibly longer. Yup. Great news. And there is nothing that I could be working on right now. It is all on THEIR time frame. That is so WONDERFUL since I am known for my patience. Umm, right.
The even BETTER news? They have added a new fee to their plethera of existing fees. The original stated cost was somewhere between 5,000 and 7,000. There were additional possible costs of about 2,000 for STD testing and fees passed on from the donor couple to the recipient couple. And that doesn't include the medications or the visits to a local RE for monitoring during the cycle. The new fee is 3,000 for councelling for both the donor and the receipient couples. 3,000 worth of counselling? I mean, how many f-ing sessions is THAT??? Like 15 per couple???
But back to my original train of thought here. That gets us up to 8,000 to 10,000 just at the base cost. Possibly 10,000 to 12,000. And then add in the meds and the additional clinic costs for the cycle monitoring. PER ATTEMPT.
I know that the financial implications shouldn't be the sole deciding factor in how we grow our family. I KNOW THIS. But, in making this decision, we also have to evaluate how this will effect us financially if it doesn't work and we needed to move on to Plan Z (aka Adoption).
And, really, if the donor embryo route will be possibly 12,000 - and comparitively, adoption would be 15,000 or more, wouldn't it make more sense (financially) to spend the extra 3,000 or so and actually take home a baby?
Crap. Does anyone have a paper bag I can borrow? I think I need to breathe into it...
5 comments:
Ugh, Carli, I feel for you. I know this must be such a difficult time trying to figure out your next move. Like some of the others said, just go with your heart, but if the finances come into play I would do the sensible thing. You certainly wouldn't want to go broke just trying to get PG and then not have anything left to pay for all the PG costs and all the baby costs. This is something Rob and I are discussing in depth righ now too, especially if we have to move on to IVF. Just take it one day at a time, it's not something you have to decide in one day or even in one week. Just know I'm thinking of you both and hoping for the best! Hang in there!!
Carli--I am sorry to hear the donor embryo clinic was not forthcoming on the realistic time frame of when you would be able to get an embryo. The added time with nothing that you can do to speed it up must be disheartning. Then the extra costs and counceling does seem like just adding one more thing to an already long list of things to do. That probably has something to do with the extension in the time frame, too. Either way to grow a family is not going to be easy, but you will get there. I don't know how much you have looked into Plan Z, but there can be hidden costs and variables there depending on which agency you choose. I didn't know if you were even ready to look into that option very seriously yet, even if it was for cost comparison. Both ways are going to have added hoops for you to get past. I wish it was easier for such a loving couple, who is so ready, to welcome a baby into their family. You know I am thinking about you. Many hugs!
What an incredibly tough decision. I wish I had some enlightening advice, but I do not. You have to listen your heart and gut and do what is best for y'all. I will be praying for you and I hope that y'all are able to make a decision with how to proceed.
Oh Carli, I'm so sorry to hear about the news. As if IF wasn't bad enough you get those crazy numbers and timeframes.
I don't know much about donor embryo so please forgive my ignorance but is it worth checking into another clinic to see if their timeframes/costs are similar?
Just a thought, sorry if it's completely useless.
Know that I'm thinking of you everyday and wishing for the best for you and Derek.
Carli, I am so sorry that you got more crappy news. Take it one day at a time and go with your heart and your instincts. Only you and Derek know what your limit is- whether that be financially or emotionally.
I can't remember if you've discussed this before or not- but are donor eggs (vs. embryos) an option at all? I follow a blog of someone who did IVF with donor eggs and donated their sperm to the other couple so it was a win-win for both. If I'm remembering correctly- Georgia is a little tougher on IF stuff- could another state be a possibility, like MI, since you have family there?
I wish I could help in more ways that just offering possibilities you've probably already considered... ugh! I just hate this for you so very very much!
Post a Comment