I had this great title for this post in my head, but I forgot it.
Speaking of forgetting, I also drove almost halfway home before I remembered that my dogs needed to be picked up from the vet, even though I had the thought in my mind when I drove my car out of the lot. I walked into the back parking lot looking for my car and panicked when I couldn't find it (I was parked out front). I was making myself some hot tea at work and I forgot to put the water in the microwave - I dropped the tea bag into the cold water to steep and then wondered why the microwave was taking so long. I can't tell you the number of times I walked into the room with the printer only to forget that I walked in there to get paper off of the printer. And I forgot numerous other things as well.
And as if being uber forgetful was not enough, the following symptoms have also graced me with their presence.
I have gas. Really stinky gas. And I am constipated.
I am exhausted.
I have a headache.
The girls are sore.
My nipples look different and are more sensitive (Note: This little jewel was pointed out to me by my husband last night. I don't typically get "nipply" when it is cold. He didn't even realize this could be a symptom of pregnancy...)
I have felt very nauseous several times today. Including right now.
My water bottle (filled today at the office) tasted distinctly like dirt.
I am having mild cramps.
Between last night and today, I spent quite a bit of time googling "Early Pregnancy Symptoms" and "Cramping in Early Pregnancy"*. I did determine that many of these symptoms are caused by increases in estrogen and progesterone. Since I am dosing myself up with these hormones, I fully realize that many of these symptoms could be explained away simply as a side effect so I am trying to keep my excitement in check.
As if you couldn't tell from my post earlier today, I seriously believe that time has stopped. Perhaps this is because I find it extremely hard to keep my mind off of the million dollar question while at work. I don't know why, but I can push these thoughts out of my head while I absorb myself into a movie. While I am supposed to be preparing monthly totals for a report or testing the latest upgrade to our software, I can't seem to focus on work because all I can think about are ALL THINGS PREGNANCY RELATED.
When I got home today, I almost caved and POAS. I actually had the box in my hand. Instead of pulling one out and running for the toilet, I settled for covering up the result that I wish to not see and focusing on the one I do want to see. After all, why waste one on afternoon urine when everyone knows that FMU is the best??? Right now, my goal is to hold out until Saturday morning. I may cave tomorrow morning and I may chicken out on Saturday morning.
UGH! I completely forgot how much the 2WW SUCKS!
* I know, you want to ask yourself "Seriously? Shouldn't she know all of this by now?" You know I do, I just needed validation.
Showing posts with label 2WW. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 2WW. Show all posts
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Tick...
....................................................................................Tock..............................................................Tick.................
You get the picture.
I really don't think time could be passing any more slowly.
You get the picture.
I really don't think time could be passing any more slowly.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Today Was a Better Day...
After I logged off last night, I listened to my pod cast. Between that and the list of things to pack that I wrote down, I finally slept better last night. I still woke up several times, but thankfully, each time I was able to fall asleep again without packing the kitchen in my head.
I really like the Thinking Positive meditation. It seems to be speaking to me exactly where I am right now. During my meditation last night, I was visualizing a BFP, a swollen belly, and us as a family when these sweet little babies arrive. I think that this was very instrumental in having a more positive mood about it today. I hope that sticks around for tomorrow as well.
In addition, I had no desire to POAS today. Thank goodness, right? I think that I will POAS on Saturday morning at the earliest. That would be 9DPT. OR, I will wait and test on Monday morning. That would be 11DPT and the date of my beta. As of right now, I can't decide which date to test...
I really like the Thinking Positive meditation. It seems to be speaking to me exactly where I am right now. During my meditation last night, I was visualizing a BFP, a swollen belly, and us as a family when these sweet little babies arrive. I think that this was very instrumental in having a more positive mood about it today. I hope that sticks around for tomorrow as well.
In addition, I had no desire to POAS today. Thank goodness, right? I think that I will POAS on Saturday morning at the earliest. That would be 9DPT. OR, I will wait and test on Monday morning. That would be 11DPT and the date of my beta. As of right now, I can't decide which date to test...
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Where I am 5DPT
I know, such an original post title.
Up until today, I have been feeling extremely positive about this cycle. Today, however, I had a set back. It wasn't as if anything bad happened. I just got a little freaked out.
Perhaps it is the hormones. Perhaps it is the lack of sleep. Perhaps it is just that there is SOOOO MUCH going on in our lives right now that is looking positive and I am waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Here is what happened. I woke up this morning with the strong desire to POAS. Perhaps I should explain. Realistically, I know that POAS 5DPT is really not the greatest idea. In most situations, it would be WAY to early to see a positive result. But, I didn't get to this point in my journey with my head in the sand. I have seen quite a few people who POAS'd on day 5 and got a BFP.
I WANTED TO BE ONE OF THOSE. I REALLY DID.
And at one of the 17 million times that I woke up last night, I began thinking about POASing when I got up. I even consciously held my urine in so that I would have good strong FMU to test with.
But, when I got up, I chickened out. I began to reason to myself that my luck has got to be about to run out. I convinced myself that if I did test, that damned NOT PREGNANT would be starring back at me. And I just couldn't do it.
The funniest thing about this is that (apparently) convincing myself that a BFN would be the result was almost as if I had actually POAS and gotten that result. I spent my day having moments where I blinked back the tears as I worried about What If?
And then the REA (Real Estate Agent) was calling about the scheduling of the home inspection and the appraisal. Have I mentioned how much I dislike our REA? She is not my favorite person. Derek was supposed to be handling all communications with her. I digress. Conversations with her stress me out as it is.
And we have been dealing with moving companies and rental locations for the last few days.
Add all of this together and I began to feel overwhelmed. What if the contract on the house falls through during this next week? What if the buyers don't get their financing approved and we don't find out until our whole house is packed up? What if all the rentals we like fill up while we are waiting on the assurance that the deal will fall through.
And of course - with that digital NOT PREGNANT visualized in my head. The biggest fear was What if this cycle didn't work???
And I ended up sitting in my car and crying on the phone to my friend Melissa (thanks for listening!).
After my cry, we went to re-visit the rental house that we really wanted to live in for our interim. (Our first visit, we didn't see a place to walk the dogs and he said we could come back over to see the "back yard that wasn't included in the tour). The place will be perfect. The owner of the house appears to really like us. We told him that we would completely understand if someone came along between now and then and he wanted to rent to them. He told us that they considered us to be the perfect renters and that he had no problems holding the house for us. He will be a great landlord.
The dogs are now fed. Dinner is now cooked and the dishes are all washed and put up. And I have blogged and commented. AND I made a list at work of all of the packing details that I keep working through as I am trying to sleep in the hopes that I will sleep better tonight.
I think I will go listen to my Meditation Pod Cast in the hopes that I will be back to my positive thinking by tomorrow morning. Things are already getting back on track.
Everything is going to be JUST FINE. Everything is going to be JUST FINE. Everything is going to be JUST FINE.
Up until today, I have been feeling extremely positive about this cycle. Today, however, I had a set back. It wasn't as if anything bad happened. I just got a little freaked out.
Perhaps it is the hormones. Perhaps it is the lack of sleep. Perhaps it is just that there is SOOOO MUCH going on in our lives right now that is looking positive and I am waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Here is what happened. I woke up this morning with the strong desire to POAS. Perhaps I should explain. Realistically, I know that POAS 5DPT is really not the greatest idea. In most situations, it would be WAY to early to see a positive result. But, I didn't get to this point in my journey with my head in the sand. I have seen quite a few people who POAS'd on day 5 and got a BFP.
I WANTED TO BE ONE OF THOSE. I REALLY DID.
And at one of the 17 million times that I woke up last night, I began thinking about POASing when I got up. I even consciously held my urine in so that I would have good strong FMU to test with.
But, when I got up, I chickened out. I began to reason to myself that my luck has got to be about to run out. I convinced myself that if I did test, that damned NOT PREGNANT would be starring back at me. And I just couldn't do it.
The funniest thing about this is that (apparently) convincing myself that a BFN would be the result was almost as if I had actually POAS and gotten that result. I spent my day having moments where I blinked back the tears as I worried about What If?
And then the REA (Real Estate Agent) was calling about the scheduling of the home inspection and the appraisal. Have I mentioned how much I dislike our REA? She is not my favorite person. Derek was supposed to be handling all communications with her. I digress. Conversations with her stress me out as it is.
And we have been dealing with moving companies and rental locations for the last few days.
Add all of this together and I began to feel overwhelmed. What if the contract on the house falls through during this next week? What if the buyers don't get their financing approved and we don't find out until our whole house is packed up? What if all the rentals we like fill up while we are waiting on the assurance that the deal will fall through.
And of course - with that digital NOT PREGNANT visualized in my head. The biggest fear was What if this cycle didn't work???
And I ended up sitting in my car and crying on the phone to my friend Melissa (thanks for listening!).
After my cry, we went to re-visit the rental house that we really wanted to live in for our interim. (Our first visit, we didn't see a place to walk the dogs and he said we could come back over to see the "back yard that wasn't included in the tour). The place will be perfect. The owner of the house appears to really like us. We told him that we would completely understand if someone came along between now and then and he wanted to rent to them. He told us that they considered us to be the perfect renters and that he had no problems holding the house for us. He will be a great landlord.
The dogs are now fed. Dinner is now cooked and the dishes are all washed and put up. And I have blogged and commented. AND I made a list at work of all of the packing details that I keep working through as I am trying to sleep in the hopes that I will sleep better tonight.
I think I will go listen to my Meditation Pod Cast in the hopes that I will be back to my positive thinking by tomorrow morning. Things are already getting back on track.
Everything is going to be JUST FINE. Everything is going to be JUST FINE. Everything is going to be JUST FINE.
Sunday, October 31, 2010
3 Posts All Rolled Into One
The 2 Week Wait -
So far things haven't been too bad. I have chilled out quite a bit. I can't tell you how many movies I have watched. My mind has been so busy with everything else going on that I haven't really had too much time toobsess over think about the fact that we are waiting. Don't get me wrong, it isn't that I don't think about it a lot. I guess I just have so many other things on my plate that I haven't really been as stressed about it. I guess that is a good thing. The hardest times for me are at my job. I really don't like my job very much and I am quite bored at it. That means that I have time to dwell on it there. I don't really have any symptoms to discuss. The "girls" are really sore, but they have been since the estrogen injections started. And I am very, very tired - but that is explainable by post #2.
10 Days of Due Diligence and Temporary Housing -
We are in the 10 Day Due Diligence Period now. The buyers have time to get the house inspected and appraised. During this period, they can back out for any reason. So we aren't packing yet.
Instead, we are trying to make arrangements for the actual act of moving and for housing after the move. We will be staying at our current city for small amount of time. Derek has a bonus coming his way that we will be sticking around to claim. And if the possibility with his job works out, then our only wait at this location is while we house hunt at the new one. If that doesn't work, we also need to be looking for employment in the new location.
We are looking at 2 options - either furnished or unfurnished monthly rentals. The great thing about furnished is that you can just show up with your belongings and live - no need to pack and unpack and then pack again. The bad thing is that they are limited in the # offered and also quite expensive. We are hoping that we can figure something out with a furnished place. We do have an unfurnished place lined up already.
But, since we aren't packing, I wake up in the wee hours of the morning and I am mentally making a list of what we would take to an unfurnished apartment - what items from my kitchen do I REALLY NEED and what would be more of a luxury that I should just pack up?
And once I am awake and mentally packing, I can't clear my mind to go back to sleep. Due to this, I am really exhausted. I have got to get more sleep tonight.
Spreading the Word -
As I have been trying to rest and relax these last few days, my Mom has apparently been spreading the word of our Embryo Adoption to my family members. Although I am very open about my situation with other people, I hadn't told our extended family members about our transfer for a couple of reasons.
The first was that I wanted us to be able to share our news when we felt the time was right. If this works, I want to announce our pregnancy like any other normal couple to our families - when we are ready to share the news - not to have them be calling to ask us if it worked and feeling pressured to share our news when we aren't ready yet. And if it doesn't work, I really didn't want to spend my Thanksgiving Holidays rehashing the sad news with my extended family members. I really would like to focus on what I do have to be thankful for - a possibility of a fresh start in our near future.
The second was that I didn't think that I was ready to share this information with one particular aunt. With our first pregnancy, we shared our news quite early and then had disappointment haunt us. I had an aunt who actually asked me "Were you really pregnant?" (to which I wanted to answer - "No, I was just starved for attention"). This same aunt does not have children. As we were preparing for our first RE consult, I asked her if there was any history I needed to be aware of for this consult that might explain why we were having trouble conceiving. She actually said "Perhaps you should consider the fact that maybe you were meant to raise dogs and not children". Derek thinks I need to let this go, but I am not certain I am ready to just forgive and forget for this yet.
So you can imagine my surprise last night when this aunt called me to ask me all kinds of questions about what she referred to as my "Implant". I suppose my Mom thought that it was appropriate to spread the word. Thanks, Mom.
So far things haven't been too bad. I have chilled out quite a bit. I can't tell you how many movies I have watched. My mind has been so busy with everything else going on that I haven't really had too much time to
10 Days of Due Diligence and Temporary Housing -
We are in the 10 Day Due Diligence Period now. The buyers have time to get the house inspected and appraised. During this period, they can back out for any reason. So we aren't packing yet.
Instead, we are trying to make arrangements for the actual act of moving and for housing after the move. We will be staying at our current city for small amount of time. Derek has a bonus coming his way that we will be sticking around to claim. And if the possibility with his job works out, then our only wait at this location is while we house hunt at the new one. If that doesn't work, we also need to be looking for employment in the new location.
We are looking at 2 options - either furnished or unfurnished monthly rentals. The great thing about furnished is that you can just show up with your belongings and live - no need to pack and unpack and then pack again. The bad thing is that they are limited in the # offered and also quite expensive. We are hoping that we can figure something out with a furnished place. We do have an unfurnished place lined up already.
But, since we aren't packing, I wake up in the wee hours of the morning and I am mentally making a list of what we would take to an unfurnished apartment - what items from my kitchen do I REALLY NEED and what would be more of a luxury that I should just pack up?
And once I am awake and mentally packing, I can't clear my mind to go back to sleep. Due to this, I am really exhausted. I have got to get more sleep tonight.
Spreading the Word -
As I have been trying to rest and relax these last few days, my Mom has apparently been spreading the word of our Embryo Adoption to my family members. Although I am very open about my situation with other people, I hadn't told our extended family members about our transfer for a couple of reasons.
The first was that I wanted us to be able to share our news when we felt the time was right. If this works, I want to announce our pregnancy like any other normal couple to our families - when we are ready to share the news - not to have them be calling to ask us if it worked and feeling pressured to share our news when we aren't ready yet. And if it doesn't work, I really didn't want to spend my Thanksgiving Holidays rehashing the sad news with my extended family members. I really would like to focus on what I do have to be thankful for - a possibility of a fresh start in our near future.
The second was that I didn't think that I was ready to share this information with one particular aunt. With our first pregnancy, we shared our news quite early and then had disappointment haunt us. I had an aunt who actually asked me "Were you really pregnant?" (to which I wanted to answer - "No, I was just starved for attention"). This same aunt does not have children. As we were preparing for our first RE consult, I asked her if there was any history I needed to be aware of for this consult that might explain why we were having trouble conceiving. She actually said "Perhaps you should consider the fact that maybe you were meant to raise dogs and not children". Derek thinks I need to let this go, but I am not certain I am ready to just forgive and forget for this yet.
So you can imagine my surprise last night when this aunt called me to ask me all kinds of questions about what she referred to as my "Implant". I suppose my Mom thought that it was appropriate to spread the word. Thanks, Mom.
Monday, November 2, 2009
5DPFET and Counting
So, I know I haven't really been posting. Most of my blog readers are friends from BBC or are really close to me IRL and already know our status. But I felt as if I had to post SOMETHING after the transfer and during the waiting period.
Our little one thawed out perfectly. The transfer was the most relaxing transfer that we have had to date. And after the transfer, we headed to the beach for a few days of relaxation. Just what the doctor ordered!
I don't know if it is because we didn't have fragmentation to worry about this time or if it was all of the praying for peace that I have been doing, but I feel surprisingly calm and positive. That's right. I said POSITIVE. I really feel as if this time, we have a good chance that it worked.
We have had a few "what if it didn't work" conversations to start, but I have quickly ended them with let's see if it worked and then go from there type of statements. Derek has been going along with this quite well.
I bought some tests today for my pre-beta testing. It took me about 15 minutes to pick which tests to buy - I know, I was totally overanalyzing the situation and I freaked out. I mean, it wasn't as if I had never bought a pack of HPTs before! I finally just made a decision and bought the things. Funny thing is that as I type this, I am wondering if I bought the right kind and considering consulting the Google.
Sigh...It was so much easier when I was using up the stock of HPTs under my sink!
Our little one thawed out perfectly. The transfer was the most relaxing transfer that we have had to date. And after the transfer, we headed to the beach for a few days of relaxation. Just what the doctor ordered!
I don't know if it is because we didn't have fragmentation to worry about this time or if it was all of the praying for peace that I have been doing, but I feel surprisingly calm and positive. That's right. I said POSITIVE. I really feel as if this time, we have a good chance that it worked.
We have had a few "what if it didn't work" conversations to start, but I have quickly ended them with let's see if it worked and then go from there type of statements. Derek has been going along with this quite well.
I bought some tests today for my pre-beta testing. It took me about 15 minutes to pick which tests to buy - I know, I was totally overanalyzing the situation and I freaked out. I mean, it wasn't as if I had never bought a pack of HPTs before! I finally just made a decision and bought the things. Funny thing is that as I type this, I am wondering if I bought the right kind and considering consulting the Google.
Sigh...It was so much easier when I was using up the stock of HPTs under my sink!
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
2WW Symptoms - PMS, IPS, PS or Side Effects
So, here we are, 2 days before the big test, and I feel it is time to discuss my symptoms. Again. You would think that after the 50 something times I have been through this, I would stop paying attention to them...But no, here I am, once again, grabbing my boobs...
So, here is a list of the symptoms I have:
And I broke down and asked the Magic 8 ball today and it said I am Pregnant, but that bitch lies.
Sigh...I guess I will have to wait until Friday afternoon to know without a doubt...
So, here is a list of the symptoms I have:
- Sore Boobs
- Slight Waves of Nausea
- Acne
- Cramps
- Hunger
- Exhaustion
- Craving for Limes (which Karina says is a PG symptom but I am not sure...)
And I broke down and asked the Magic 8 ball today and it said I am Pregnant, but that bitch lies.
Sigh...I guess I will have to wait until Friday afternoon to know without a doubt...
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