I am still having a hard time believing that I am pregnant - It seems as if it is all just a dream. I really don't have too many symptoms yet, which is probably the main reason why I am having a hard time believing this is real. I think that if I could, I would have my blood drawn every single day to make sure that the numbers are still rising. There is just something so comforting about hearing that your numbers are doubling. Even though the RE didn't want to do a 3rd Beta, I would have loved to have the reassurance of hearing the number.
I do have are slight cramping off and on - which, although this is completely normal, it is also quite freaky. And I am having some moments of nausea here and there, but no vomit at this point.
I will be totally honest, though. I am so scared that something is going to go wrong. I know that the 2WW to find out if it worked was tough. But the 2WW to find out if our baby or babies are growing as they should be is a tough one. HOW do people handle this without freaking out completely???
In other news, we are preparing for the move. Everything is on for the closing on the day before Thanksgiving. So, we are starting to pack things up. The thing is - I still can't lift over 25 lbs. And, since most things don't have a weight stamped on them, determining what I can lift is a bit tough. I am putting things in boxes and making Derek move them around. My in laws are coming the help us pack things up, so I really don't have to do too much - they are very capable packers and I am so lucky to have them to help us.
But the problem is that when I am not doing anything to prepare for the move, I feel anxious about getting everything done. Add that to the anxiety of waiting on the ultrasound and I start to freak out. So, I have sorted out some things and packed a few boxes and that seems to have helped to abate the anxiety a bit. In addition, we made a few lists of what needs to be done and what needs to go to the rental and that seems to have helped it too.
I just wish that I could fast forward to the Monday of our ultrasound. Then the move would be over, we would be all settled in our rental house and we would know what is going on in there.
7 comments:
I agree with you....the wait until the first ultrasound (I had two, one to see the sac and one to see the heartbeat) were absolutely excrutiating. (And I never ever got symptoms, so the agony was especially acute...it just didn't seem real. It felt like a dream, just like you described.) I would take an HPT every morning just to remind myself it was really happening. And I started taking baths and doing deep breathing every evening just to try to make myself sleep better.
Honestly? I am almost 18 weeks and I am still severely anxious that this won't last all of the time, but by far the worst of it was the early weeks.
HANG IN THERE! You ARE pregnant, this is real! And that baby(ies!!) = perfectly healthy and growing big & strong. xo
Waiting for that first ultrasound is torture. I actually went in at about 5 and a half weeks because I was having bad cramping (and, if I'm being honest, I REALLY wanted an ultrasound...). Anyway, they could see the gestational sac but not the heartbeat at that point (too early) so while it was neat, it was kind of pointless. But the ultrasound where you can see the heartbeat for the first time? Oh my gosh, Carli. There are NO WORDS. It is amazing. I am so excited for you to experience that. I know it's hard not to worry. Infertility teaches you to brace yourself for disappointment. But try to enjoy this pregnancy as much as possible instead of freaking yourself out about what could go wrong (easier said than done, I know. I breathed a huge sigh of relief when the first trimester was over). You've waited so long for this. Soak it all in. I'll be counting down the days until your ultrasound. I'm so curious how many are in there!
PS- Good luck with the move.
I forgot to comment about symptoms. I didn't have any until I was 7 weeks pregnant. And then the morning sickness hit & didn't go away until a few weeks into the second trimester. I would say enjoy the lack of symptoms while you can, but honestly, I know it's nerve-wracking. I remember feeling honestly happy some days while I was throwing up because it made the pregnancy seem more real. Anyway, my point is: your symptoms will (most likely) come. Unless you're one of the very lucky ones who somehow gets to skip the morning sickness.
Thanks so much for stopping by my blog and answering my question! I'm going to talk to me RE about getting on our clinics waiting list. I looked into it and our clinic does offer an embryo adoption option. Good luck with the move and I'm anxious to hear about your ultrasound!
Kerri has shared some really good stuff and I defer to her experience to be a better source of comfort. I cannot imagine the wait you are in now, but I am certainly cheering for you and your baby or babies. Focus on the positive and live in the moment of now. Rely on your strength. Embrace every good thing about this experience.
As for your move, I have every bit of confidence in you, Derek and your in-laws to get it done. Focus on what you can do. It will all happen as it should.
Just so you know i perpetually freaked out my entire pregnancy. After going through IF I think it's just natural to worry about every little thing. I kept thinking "Once I have my first ultrasound, I'll feel confident", then it changed to "Once I get out of the first trimester, I'll stop worrying", then it was, "once I get to viability at 24 weeks", and so on and so forth. You get the idea. And like I said before, symptoms will come and go and all of that is perfectly normal but it doesn't make it any easier and less stressful! I really think you have a strong (or multiple strong) baby(ies) in there. This is going to be it Carli. You are going to be a mom.
Sorry to say I agree with Kerri and Ellie, I freaked out the whole pregnancy. Having said that, don't let it prevent you from enjoying every second of it. I still pinch myself every time I remember... Carli's pregnant! and then I smile broadly even if people on the street think I'm weird :-)
Don't worry about the symptoms, on the cycle that I did get pregnant I was cramping as if my period was about to start and then not much. So really, they don't always have to be there.
Regarding the move, you beat me to it because as I read I kept saying in my head: Make lists, make lists!
Let people spoil you all they can, you've certainly earned it. And even though I know it probably didn't have anything to do with it, I stopped lifting things regardless of weight after all the bleeding in my first trimester. People love helping out pregnant women so let them and enjoy it :-)
Best of luck on the house, looks like everything is falling into place and I couldn't be happier.
Congrats again!
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